Bachelor #480 "Speak To Me, I'm Listening"

Bachelor #479 The Chair Thief

"I am a man who opens doors and pulls out chairs."

I saw you on America's Most Wanted. You chair thief!!

Bachelor #478 "True Love Has No Time"

And neither do I.

Bye!

Bachelor #477 "i've been known to make a lass laugh !!”

If you say that three times real fast I'll bet I'll laugh my....never mind.

Bachelor #476 "Untill We Meet Again For The First Time"

And the last time.

Bachelor #475 "Are you my missing Rib?"

The barbeque stain was a dead giveaway, wasn't it....

Bachelor #474 "pilgrim seeks monogamous green single”

Have you tried phoning home?

(People. You can't make this up.)

Bachelor #473 "Well dres guy very fusey"

No thanks. I already have a short fuse.

Bachelor #472 A Diamond In The Ruff

And equally brilliant

Bachelor #471 "Would love to find IT"

Okay...

Bachelor #470"Teddy bear needs cuddling too"

I draw the line at fondling your stuffed animals.

Bachelor #469"Life is a picnic and I'm the ANT"

I knew you were a pest from the get-go.

Bachelor #468 "Dont' Need To Marry Butt Wood"

Then why wood eye?

Time to split.

Bachelor #467 I'd Flip For You

"my hobbies are bronze sculpture,herbal medicine, acupunture, martial arts,chi gung. I will probably start flipping houses, starting with my own."

How strong do you have to be to flip a house?

Bachelor #466 I'm Laid Black

After reading that I'm just blue.

Bachelor # 465 Here's Your Sign

He writes, "On our dream date, my match and I would get lost in each other."

OK. I would bring a map and take a .....

Then you could just get lost.

Bachelor #464 The Bird Man Beaketh

"I frist started working when I was a young boy 'dont ask me how old I was' for I do not remeber my age at that time. HOw ever I was paper boy that deliver the new paper to the house and the paper was on the proch. Yes I did beak a few windows."

Bachelor #463 Slow Dancing In A Tortoise Shell

His headline simply read: "When critters unite."

That is so romantic.

You've been watching that Wild Kingdom show haven't you......

Bachelor #462 "I love beautiful women all day every day"

At first I thought he was just another oops-I-didn't-mean-to-sound-so-stupid-in-my-headline guy. And then he said,

"My feeling on love-at-first-sight is Usually not. I just want to flirt with a girl and have a good time. Some one on one sex would be very good too!!!"

To which I replied,

My feeling on you-at-first-sight is Usually not.
Next!

Bachelor #461 I Am Very Thusty For You

You're out of luck. I'm the empty glass type. Try the drink down the street.
Second hydrant on the left.