The Dating Profiles Saturday Comeback Challenge (Round 7)

NOTE: DEADLINE EXTENDED UNTIL TUESDAY AT MIDNIGHT EST because of Christmas. Winner announced Wednesday.

The Rules:

1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. Write a comedic response to any or all of these. The more you can answer, the better your chance of winning.
2. You have until midnight Monday to send in your answers.
3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I won't post inappropriate or sexually explicit responses.

Subtle is good! Otherwise, I get unwanted attention from sites I'd rather not attract. Just look through previous competitions if you're not sure where/how to cross the line. Say what you want to say - just find a way to leave out certain words.
4. Send your responses to me via email, NOT through the comment function. That way, no one sees anyone's answers until all have finished creating a comeback. This makes for a better competition and full of surprises too!
5. I will announce the winner in Wednesday
s post. You will get a link back to your site and a permanent place in my sidebar as a former winner....and untold Fame and Glory. GOOD LUCK!

For inspiration read last week's competition and winner Last Minute Lyn. Here are this week's challenging profile snippets and headlines:

1. Must Love Dog Hair

2. I'm passionate and sensitive, yes, I even had tears in my eyes after some commercials.

3. My ideal woman is smart and sexy and doesn't take me too seriously and will take my breath away when I see her in a bikini.

4. Not into phonie peopole.

5. Licensed to thrill

6. Let's go ride my bike and fly

7. Today is yesterdays tomorrow

8. Man Seeks Women to Help Globle Warning

9. Traveling Man Needs a Woman's Hands

10. I'm intense sometimes. A cup of coffee will tell.