October 6, 2008

Bachelor #324 "I don't claim to be the Dally Lama of love."

Could I date a man who misspells deity?
I think not. All spelling errors being equal, can we talk?

First of all, I apologize to His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, Dallywood and Dally Parton. According to Tibetan tradition, an authentic spiritual leader chooses to reincarnate to serve the people, not reappear in dating profiles unannounced and undefended.
This is definitely not a God Wink.

No one usually misspells Jesus or Pope or even Brad Pitt.....sigh....but I did receive a letter once from an Asian man who wanted to marry a "Bapteese" lady from the states. That was not a God Wink either, nor was it a wink I returned.
At this point, I'd settle for just a manifestation of someone devoted to spellchecker. An apparition perhaps.

Reincarnation is not such a bad idea in this case – as long as I get to inspect previous baggage. But really. Would you want this particular karma returned to earth? He does admit to being less than perfect right off the bat....but still....his Dallyan love qualifications are definitely off the cosmic chart. Who am I to talk? I seem to be having a rough time even striking up a spark, much less a cosmic flame. Bapteese karma is definitely not paying off.

Maybe it’s time to reinvent my destiny. I’m not a Buddhist but once went shopping with a cousin of a step-cousin’s father who believed he was Marilyn Monroe in a former life.
Does that count?

Let's see.......whom shall I pick?
........Think literary, literary, intelligence…..I’ve got it!
Walt Whitman.
No, somehow that seems all wrong.
Jonathan Edwards? No….Too controlling. But he was a fiery soul for sure.
Hmm…… Rhett Butler (Oh, he wasn't real). No problem. He'll fit right in.

I’m stumped. I give up. I'm drowning in a sea of wannabe prophets who kiss their pets and want to parade me as tattoo candy (#9); men with dental problems and children who sleep in the woods, bald men with frisky combs (#12) outdoorsy rebels who tie their own flies!! (#2) and now, literary cowboys who don’t even know how to drop a name.

Duck. Flying grape approaching monitor.

And why would a man want to admit that he wasn't the "Dally Lama" of love?? What a missed opportunity for greatness and so unlike a male.
I'm always complaining to my girlfriends that men aren't "real" enough. Maybe I should stop praying for real and ask God to throw in a really good liar every now and then. Do you think I could reverse the karma with a bit of reverse cyberology?
It's worth a try.

I may need spiritual advice on this one before I do something to throw the entire dating world off kilter. I need someone with an Ocean of Wisdom.

Do you think the Dalai Lama is busy this morning?

Formerly Bachelor #17 August 14, 2006

1 comment:

Maddy said...

Judging by the last interview I heard with the Dalai Lama on the radio, the wealth of wisdom is guaranteed but the time slot could be a bit iffy.