August 17, 2006

Bachelor # 21 John Dear

"Enjoy life to the fullest," writes John, from Iowa. Wearing overalls (if you don't know what overalls are, just think Green Acres reruns or American Gothic parodies - that should do it) ........anyway, Johnny is seen squatting down in a cornfield, or maybe they were bean rows, I don't know, holding a stalk of some kind in his left hand and wearing a yellow cap with heavy machinery on the bill. One sexy denim strap seductively trailing down his nowhere-near-white-collar shirt and brogans (if you don't know what brogans are just think Jane'll figure it out)
He claims to be rich and swears he holds a graduate degree. Botany? Stalkology?
Describes himself as "low key, laid-back, easy...."
Believe it or not, his handle was "Race Car Driver Looking for a Pitstop." On a TRACTOR??

Be still my heart.

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