Dating Comeback Challenge Round 51 Results ~ "Bewhiched"

Welcome to the 51st Dating Comeback Challenge results post. With two brand new first time contestants and a pack of pitiful bachelors to deal with, it's been interesting. Daddy Papersurfer from The United Kingdom comes to us claiming he has no idea why he's doing this but found himself formulating comebacks anyway. We're glad he did! Maybe he was sleepwalking? Hie tie-breaker answer inspired the title to this post. Very funny. And no contest would be complete without a lovely lady to add the feminine touch. Shinade from The Painted Veil is now a virgin challenger as well.......wait......somehow that didn't come out right. Oh! You know what I mean! She's snarky and sassy hailing from the great state of Oklahoma. A few of our competitors have been doing this challenge for over a year now and are, admittedly, hard to beat. Pros of snark and wit respectively on their own blogs. Thankfully, I still call them friends, they still call each other friends outside the blog life; and even though they are routinely beaten over the head with my dreaded BLEEPER and sometimes lose because I might be having a cranky day and find NOTHING funny, they seem to understand that my role as coordinator AND judge is not an easy one - especially among blogging people I care about and respect. But I do my best to objectively judge each week's contest. So, a healthy and mature competition emerges weekly. Right guys? You didn't skip to the end of the post yet did you guys? Guys?? So, if you're new to the competition just remember to hang in there. Writing semi-sarcastic comebacks to already inane jargon by some of the weirdest single people on the planet is an acquired - and nurtured - talent. Please keep playing! Here are the results.......It was a tight race to the finish line. Remember: Spelling errors from original profiles. Contestant answers are in RED. Comebacks are judged on a 3-point scale. The highest possible score for any contestant is 30. Good luck. My confession: In hindsight I realize these questions were VERY difficult. I'll try to do better next week. Let the silliness begin.

Contestant #1 Daddy Papersurfer **First Time participant from the United Kingdom. 1. I be true to you. and lie to everyone else I suppose. =2 2. My best quality is my dimple when I smile. = a simple dimple does it for me ........ not very often though =1 3. Im lost need help too find me I'm sure I heard something ......... perhaps not =2 4. I prefer that for the first few dates, we go dutch, so if that puts you off, oh well. if the cap fits ..........=1 5. I like darker hair, prefer longer, a little more top heavy, red hair and green eyes will make me very week in the knees, also nice long dark hair with deep brown/black eyes, will have the same effect. you do realise I used to play Kojak don't you? =2 6. I have been to prison twice and sober since 2001. I think we've already met - it was in the showers I think =3 7. Shy fly guy I lurve air stewards!!!! =1 8. My friends call me Big Ugly. So I'm looking for a woman who can see past that. I make a pretty good copy of a woman. Are you allergic to guide dogs?=1 9. One of the biggest things I can say about me is that I am who I am That makes two of us - perhaps we're twins! What the heck!!! let's go for it =3 10. Fisherman looking for someone to put on I knit a pretty mean sweater =1 Tie-breaker: I like to have a person that will make me go out like to a movie or out an set in a restront or go out an do things I like my quit times You've cast a mis-spell on me - I am bewhiched =3 Total points for Daddy Papersurfer = 17 His tie-breaker answer cracked me up! Contestant #2 Bond's Big Leather Couch 1. I be true to you. Why do I want to start singing…”when I’m calling youuuuuuuuuuuuu…will you call me toooooooooooooooooooooo” = 2 2. My best quality is my dimple when I smile. One dimple? That’s all we get is one dimple? = 2 3. Im lost need help too find me OK, go up until you see the empty brain on the side of the road and take a right, follow that off the short pier… =3 4. I prefer that for the first few dates, we go dutch, so if that puts you off, oh well. I prefer for all our dates we go solo…I hope that put YOU off… = 3 5. I like darker hair, prefer longer, a little more top heavy, red hair and green eyes will make me very week in the knees, also nice long dark hair with deep brown/black eyes, will have the same effect. So, you basically want someone who is breathing… = 1 6. I have been to prison twice and sober since 2001. Wow…you know how to woo a woman now don’t you…I guess being in a cell with Bubba will sober a man up =2 7. Shy fly guy Don’t be shy…fly…AWAY =2 8. My friends call me Big Ugly. So I'm looking for a woman who can see past that. I am looking right past you on to my next selection =2 9. One of the biggest things I can say about me is that I am who I am POPEYE….I am your Olive Oyl…. = 1 10. Fisherman looking for someone to put on I am not your bait =3 Tie-breaker: I like to have a person that will make me go out like to a movie or out an set in a restront or go out an do things I like my quit times How about a person who will make you actually learn the English language, like a teacher? =3 Total points for Bond = 21 Contestant #3 from Singapore 1. I be true to you. But what about the other 25 alphabets? = 3 2. My best quality is my dimple when I smile. That's if people don't focus on your decaying teeth and horrible breath first. =1 3. Im lost need help too find me Don't worry, I doubt anybody will notice that you're missing. =3 4. I prefer that for the first few dates, we go dutch, so if that puts you off, oh well. Ok. I'll eat the food and you foot the bill. =1 5. I like darker hair, prefer longer, a little more top heavy, red hair and green eyes will make me very week in the knees, also nice long dark hair with deep brown/black eyes, will have the same effect. There's a pretty well known wig shop just down the street, although I doubt they sell wigs with inbuilt eyes. Is that the latest trend? =2 6. I have been to prison twice and sober since 2001. I have been sober twice and in prison since *hic* 2001. We're a perfect match! *hic* =3 7. Shy fly guy And neither do I want to see you open up. =3 8. My friends call me Big Ugly. So I'm looking for a woman who can see past that. That would be pretty hard unless you provide the x-ray goggles.=2 9. One of the biggest things I can say about me is that I am who I am One of the most obvious things that I can say about you is that you have no creativity whatsoever. =2 10. Fisherman looking for someone to put on Well, I'm glad to tell you that you just put me off. =2 Tie-breaker: I like to have a person that will make me go out like to a movie or out an set in a restront or go out an do things I like my quit times This is the perfect example of 'The more they type, the less they know' =2 Total points for Anyhow = 22 Contestant #4 WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog 1. I be true to you. True? You can’t handle the true. = 2 2. My best quality is my dimple when I smile. I lie, steal, kill and cheat, but it’s a great dimple. =2 3. Im lost need help too find me And think I speak for everyone when I say the odds are very good that you’ll stay lost. =3 4. I prefer that for the first few dates, we go dutch, so if that puts you off, oh well. You are a frigging cheap S.O.B. But at least you are an honest one. =2 5. I like darker hair, prefer longer, a little more top heavy, red hair and green eyes will make me very week in the knees, also nice long dark hair with deep brown/black eyes, will have the same effect. I really don’t think you are being specific enough. =3 6. I have been to prison twice and sober since 2001. A drunk ex-con. You gotta admire his truth in advertising. Fella, good luck with that. =1 7. Shy fly guy. Shoo fly shoo. =3 8. My friends call me Big Ugly. So I'm looking for a woman who can see past that. It could be worse. Unless you are a drunk ex-con. =3 9. One of the biggest things I can say about me is that I am who I am. The biggest? Try the stupidest.=2 10. Fisherman looking for someone to put on. Is English say your first language? If it is you are screwed. This makes no sense what so ever.=2 Tie-breaker: I like to have a person that will make me go out like to a movie or out an set in a restront or go out an do things I like my quit times. You know God invented spell check for a reason. But good luck with this. =2 Total points for Bud Weiser = 23 Contestant # 5 Frank Sirianni from Canada

1. I be true to you.

Already starting with a lie...Infidel!!! =1

2. My best quality is my dimple when I smile.

Word of advice, take off your tool belt when on a date. You may be smiling a lot, but that is not a dimple! =2

3. Im lost need help too find me

Try Google Maps, you will show up as a blip. =2

4. I prefer that for the first few dates, we go dutch, so if that puts you off, oh well. Ok, but I think you would look silly in those wooden shoes. =2

5. I like darker hair, prefer longer, a little more top heavy, red hair and green eyes will make me very week in the knees, also nice long dark hair with deep brown/black eyes, will have the same effect.

You just can't walk in expecting to flip through and get perfect fit like you are buying a cheap suit. And believe me, by the looks of you, you can't just pick right off the rack. So, take a number and wait for a fitting. =2

6. I have been to prison twice and sober since 2001.

They don't give out Brownie Badges for that. =2

7. Shy fly guy

Bbbbuuuuuzzzzzzz oooofffffffffff tttthhhhheeeeeeennnnn. =1

8. My friends call me Big Ugly. So I'm looking for a woman who can see past that.

Don't pay attention to those Sasquatches, you're a cute Wookie. =1.

9. One of the biggest things I can say about me is that I am who I am

Dating Commandment #11: Thou shalt not pour water on creep with a God complex in a restaurant. =1

10. Fisherman looking for someone to put on How do I worm out of this one? =3 Tie-breaker: I like to have a person that will make me go out like to a movie or out an set in a restront or go out an do things I like my quit times

And then the glove didn't fit, right OJ? =1

Total points for Frank = 17

Contestant #6 Lee from the great state of North Carolina

1. I be true to you.

I be rid of you! =3

2. My best quality is my dimple when I smile. Great! But pull your pants up, we're in public. =2

3. Im lost need help too find me

If you're lost, I bet you do need help too. =1

4. I prefer that for the first few dates, we go dutch, so if that puts you off, oh well. Your being a cheapskate is what puts me off.=`1 5. I like darker hair, prefer longer, a little more top heavy, red hair and green eyes will make me very week in the knees, also nice long dark hair with deep brown/black eyes, will have the same effect. Let's see if I understand: you want someone with large breasts, dark red hair and green eyes, who has been beat up and has bruises around her eyes. And you also have knees for seven days. Is that right? =2

6. I have been to prison twice and sober since 2001.

I'm betting the two trips to prison came before 2001, didn't they? =3

7. Shy fly guy

Stay away from the green frog girl. =1

8. My friends call me Big Ugly. So I'm looking for a woman who can see past that.

I'm betting the 'Big' part means your hard to see past, period! =2

9. One of the biggest things I can say about me is that I am who I am What's your name? Popeye? =2

10. Fisherman looking for someone to put on Fishermen are pretty good at putting people on. How big was the one that got away? =3 Tie-breaker: I like to have a person that will make me go out like to a movie or out an set in a restront or go out an do things I like my quit times I like a person who can communicate clearly. That's definitely not you, dude! =2

Total points for Lee the Tarheel Rambler = 20

Contestant#7 Shinade from Shinade from The Painted Veil Thanks for joining the guys with the only female comment this week.

1. I be true to you. "I be so happy all my men are" =1 2. My best quality is my dimple when I smile. "I always did love a man with a dimple. But teeth help too" =2 3. Im lost need help too find me "Oh dear, lost you say? I don't have a map. Whatever will we do?" =1 4. I prefer that for the first few dates, we go dutch, so if that puts you off, oh well. "What's dutch? Listen now I don't do those sort of things on a first day" -1 5. I like darker hair, prefer longer, a little more top heavy, red hair and green eyes will make me very week in the knees, also nice long dark hair with deep brown/black eyes, will have the same effect. " I prefer no effection at all on a first date anyway." =2 6. I have been to prison twice and sober since 2001. "Ah-ha! I will seek advice from my shrink that I see monthly. Of course he will have to look you over first also. And oh yes, those three times I was in jail was due to temporary insanity. I have the proper medical documentation if you would like to see. But don't worry it's only been going on now for ten years. You should be safe." =2 7. Shy fly guy "Me too I simply can't stand to fly so we were made for each other." =3 8. My friends call me Big Ugly. So I'm looking for a woman who can see past that. "Come on over honey but wait until I find my teeth." =1 9. One of the biggest things I can say about me is that I am who I am "Oh no,no,no, I don't do the biggest at all, never,ever. Please look elsewhere as it is what it is" =1 10. Fisherman looking for someone to put on "Oh Yay...well here put this on. I warn ya' though there's holes in that there net" =2

Total points for Shinade = 16 Congratulations to this week's winner - we'll call him the Comeback King.

1st place : Bud Weiser from WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog

h2nd place: Anyhow Blogs from Singapore

3rd place: Bond from The Big Leather Couch

Great fun this week! Very funny! Thanks for playing.