The Comeback Challenge Round 49 I'm Not A Gynecologist

No, we are not playing doctor.
But we are playing The 49th round of The Comeback Challenge here on this crazy site. Each week I comb the dating sites, newspaper ads and heresay bachelor sayings to post the looniest bachelor profile headings, the most bizarre, the least intellectual and those I feel can be word-turned around in a clever way. People do say the darndest things! Nothing here is meant to be mean-spirited or derogatory - all in good clean fun - and I try to find snippets from essays that are perfectly suited for comedy. The turn of a phrase can be hysterically funny. That's where the challenge comes in. Trying to make it funny without going for the obivous lowbrow humor is my specialty and has become a trademark characteristic of those who participate here each week. Just ask them about my dreaded bleeper! I will use it, on occasion, if I feel the comeback is too violent or sexually explicit. Often, the implied comeback answer is funnier than stating the obvious. That can be cleverly done and is each week here at The Comeback Challenge (and hopefully each day as I present a comeback to you daily).

There are some bright, wonderful people in the blogosphere. You crack me up!
This week, Linda from Are We There Yet? has issued a challenge to the ladies. She thinks the men are hogging the competition and doesn't undertand why THEY come up with the best comebacks and win each week. Her theory is interesting and to put it as she did in her own philosophical jargon, ".... ladies, we need to take the art of the snarky comeback back and show these men exactly how it's done!" and then, in typical Supermom fashion said, "Let's kick some male butt."
Case in point: Last week the question was as stated by the bachelor "I like crybaby movies and cuddly-warm people." Linda's comeback answer? "You have tissues, don't you?" She used "tissues" instead of "issues." Now THAT'S a perfect comeback anwer! And yet, Bond from The Big Leather Couch, beat her by just one point. She and Anyhow from Singapore tied for 2nd place.

So, let's play. The Rules are stated at the end of this post. Have fun!
And welcome, ladies.



1." Don't Read This (Just Kidding)"

2. "Goof Ball Wants a Goof Girl"

3. "My Door Was Made To Be Opened"

4. "Jump In The Ocean With Me!"

5. "I Love Public Intimacy" (Bleeper ready. Be careful players....Just sayin.)

6. "I'm Not a Gynecologolist But I'll Look"
(OK, players. I know. But your challenge is to go for the non-obvious answer or brilliantly disguise the obvious one. It was too good to pass up! Charging bleeper......)

7. "If There's No Wind Let's Drift"

8. "Do You Like Stuff?"

9. "Wandering Goofball"

10. "Pour Some Sugar On Me"

Tie-Breaker: "I've been told all kinds of things about me, But mostly about how handsome and very attractive I am"

1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. Write a comedic response to all of these. Spelling errors are from original profiles and not my own.

2. You have until 11:59 pm MONDAY EDT to send in your answers via email. VERY IMPORTANT: Type "Saturday Comeback Challenge" in the subject line and include the name and url of your blog. Otherwise, I could overlook it in the bulk mail or something equally disastrous.

3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I will not post inappropriate, mean-spirited, or sexually explicit responses. There is a way to be funny without blatant innuendo; in fact, I think that's funnier.

4. I will announce the winner in Wednesday's post. You will get a link back to your site, a permanent place in my sidebar, and a winner's badge for your blog --plus untold fame and glory! Mostly untold.

Good Luck!