Had I known before that the deep gut-wrenching laughter found in the singles scene would cure all that ails me, I'd have gotten divorced years before I did. Who knew wading through the dating pool would be so entertaining? So insane? So...so....thought-provoking.
So sad.
I tried to think of something serious: famine, broken fingernails, drought, tainted toys and recalled food, lost lipstick tubes - sorry, folks - I dropped into a puddle of giggles. Again. I. Can't. Breathe. This went on for a good ten minutes. And then I remembered why I am, indeed, single on this Friday night. Fit-throwing. Shoe-throwing. Popcorn spilled. Magic memories. Damn that intruding tear. That epiphany lasted about 10 seconds. Just long enough for me read the profile that said
"I'm your basic looser."
Oh no.
Here I go again.
I. Can't. Stop. Laughing.
See what I mean?
Medicine.
Bent over double in stitches I am. All evening. Just me and my pencil skirt.
Feeling blue? Here's your prescription for the weekend.
The Comeback Challenge Round 42 is full of grown men quoting
And weep.
Then laugh.
I'm feeling better already.
1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. Spelling errors are from original profiles and not my own. Write a comedic response to any or all of these.
2. You have until 11:59 pm MONDAY EDT to send in your answers via email. VERY IMPORTANT: Type "Saturday Comeback Challenge" in the subject line and include the name and url of your blog.
3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I will not post inappropriate or sexually explicit responses. Subtle is good!
4. I will announce the winner in Wednesday's post. You will get a link back to your site, a permanent place in my sidebar, and a winner's badge for your blog --plus untold fame and glory! Mostly untold.
1. Maintenance Man Needing His Heart Fixed
2. I'm getting old and you can tell I work hard and am shy around women. I'm your basic looser......
3. Pleas have mursy on my ever loving sole.
4. You ant got to be a star to be in my show
5. I have long red hair I've been growing for ten years. My eyes are sometimes blue and sometimes green.
6. If love were oil, I'd be a quart low!
7. I have kids alternating weekends. No alcohol or drugs for me but you can if you like.
8. A Bug's Wings Are a Gift To You
9. Single Dad that has been drug threw the dirt
10. No need to pinch yourself - I'm real!
Tie-Breaker: Love Life Take 4
GOOD LUCK!
This site won an award yesterday for The Funniest Blog: Best Blog of The Day. Anyhow Blogs - a regular player of this competition - was featured in the article for his outstanding comeback. Way to go, Anyhow. You guys are hysterical.
Update: Frank and Lance duke it out in this funny post by Lance called Canadians Bust In Dating Challenge. Apparently, the young whipper-snapper has been hanging around Sirianni a bit too long. Mr. Lance is talking to himself - in an exclusive interview - with himself. Entering this contest has caused him great emotional distress. I'm sorry for that. Really I am. But the show must go on.
I'm not sure if he's really upset because Frank scored more points last week or if, in fact, as we all have been blatantly reminded of HERE - he was, to put it bluntly, beat out by a girl. Two girls in fact and a comedian from New England.
Let the games begin.
And Lance, take a pill or something. We're worried about you.
2 comments:
That's just too funny. I do get Lance so riled up. I usually start on him about Wednesday, by Friday, he's just a bundle of nerves---my bad--ggg ggg.
Congrats about winning funniest blog too. It's so well deserved. It should be televised--the winning announcement and the game.
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