Saturday Comeback Challenge Round 30 Let's Be Scentual About This

First a note to my readers: Thanks for being patient during BlogBlast for Peace week and as I packed to begin my grand adventure in New England this summer. I arrived safely yesterday, unpacked the laptop and cranked out a Comeback Challenge. So let's get started! I've missed your comedy.
This week's bachelors are a strange bunch. Good luck.

The Rules
1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. Spelling errors are from original profiles and not my own. Write a comedic response to any or all of these.

2. You have until 11:59 pm MONDAY EDT to send in your answers via email. Type "Saturday Comeback Challenge" in the subject line and include the name and url of your blog.

3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I won't post inappropriate or sexually explicit responses. Subtle is good!

4. I will announce the winner in Wednesday's post. You will get a link back to your site, a permanent place in my sidebar, and a winner's badge for your blog --plus untold fame and glory! (Mostly untold)

1. Just bare with me, OK?

2. Unemployed and Homeless

3. What Would You Do If Zombies Attacked?

4. I Am Looking for Someone with Instincts to Put a Worm on a Hook

5. I Am a Pain in the Neck

6. I Am a Happy-Go-Lucky Guy who suffers bouts of depression.

7. If you look like you went fishing and got hit in the head with the tackle box, and all the hooks stuck to your face, then keep fishing.

8. Smile. It gives your face something to do.

9. Looking for a lady that dosnt mind slleeping in a tint.

10. Hi. I am he that most girls overlook.

Tie-Breaker: I like for you to be adventrous but still be scentual and delicate.