The Dating Profiles Comeback Challenge (Round 14) with a Twist!

Hello. My name is Frank Sirianni from Foxxfyrre's Honk and Hollr and I'll be your host this weekend for Mimi Lenox's Saturday Comeback Challenge Round 14. I asked Mimi several days ago if she would allow me to prepare a round of dating profile questions and judge this week's competition. I thought it would be interesting to let Mimi play her own game which would also allow boyfriend Bud to play against her!
They thought it was a great idea!

I have to tell you, this was one of the craziest experiences I've gone through. These profiles are totally off the wall and I was in shock most of the time at what I read. Whew! I don't envy anyone in the dating scene these days. Nonetheless, I've come up with ten essay headlines and snippets - just like Mimi would. She will forward your entries to me.
I will be the sole judge and jury and will use her point system to declare a winner on Tuesday. I've included a Bonus Bachelor Profile in case there are any ties at any level. Let the competition begin!

The Rules

1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. Spelling errors are from original profiles and not my own. Write a comedic response to any or all of these. The more you can answer, the better your chance of winning.

2. You have until 11:59 pm Monday EST to send in your answers via email. Type "Saturday Comeback Challenge" in the subject line and include the name and url of your blog.

3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I won't post inappropriate or sexually explicit responses. Subtle is good!

4. I will announce the winner in Tuesday's post. You will get a link back to your site, a permanent place in my sidebar, and a winner's badge for your website -plus untold fame and glory! (Mostly untold)

Here we go................

1. I hate to brag about myself...but since I hate to leave things undone let me give it a try

2. My mom said pick me! I do tricks and flips, do you want to see?

3. I'm nice with a little bit of twang. I love to conversate, explore and manicure a women mentally and physically.

4. live In Same House As X . .but Were Not Together. Not Into Bs, Games.or Being Hurt. Im Honest . You Must B Too And Faithful

5. to be exact getting kind of bore being the 5th wheel with all my friends looking for someone who likes to go out and have fun as well as stay home

6. Jeez I dunno.. build a snowman? or how about an entire snowman family, and then making funny voices as we put them in awkward social situations for unsuspecting, but certainly-appreciative, passersby?

7. I work hard so that i may play hard; looking for someone that can keep up : spiritually, mentally and definely physically!

8. Hello Ladies, I'm built like a toothpick, but I've started to workout again. I think I just recently found out why I'm single, I own 1-mini van and 1 Safari van. If your still interest I know your're not a gold digger. I can speack English as well as French and I can makeout in French.

9. One of the coolest guys I know!!!! Its true, I was there!

10. well this is my frist time doing this. well i would like to tell you i would fly you to a beach and we would walk in the sand to a littel hide away were i would have a romantic candel lite dinner and as we sat down the sun was setting.

BONUS 11. Irish guy looking for non-mental girl...

GOOD LUCK!