Readers! It's time once again for
Saturday Comeback Challenge
(the Dating Profile Comeback Challenge)
(the Dating Profile Comeback Challenge)
WARNING: These are tough.
"Are you sure you want honesty?"'
"Close my eyes just ta look at you."
"Close my eyes just ta look at you."
"I'm a rounded person."
"Cheese in search of macaroni"
"Nice dog seeks poodle to pamper"
"Tree-hugging mammal seeks same"
"What's this button do?"
".....I sometimes perform music in public and ride my motorcycle for fun."
"Deeper than I look."
"I am love able."
"Looking for my sole mate."
"I'm not bald. I just shave my head"
"Ready to settle."
".....Let's watch a video in front of the fireplace with some chinese." (and the obvious comeback is......???)
Come on....take the Saturday Comeback Challenge.
You know you want to.
8 comments:
(1)Why, is it a foreign concept for you?
(2)Then dream of being with me, it's the only way it's going to happen!
(3)Darn, I'm a square hole.
(4)I'm sorry, I'm lactose intollerant.
(5)Dam, I'm too much of a b**tch for you.
(6)Shucks, I'm a lumber jill.
(7)It's an ejection button, goodbye.
(8)Dam, I"m looking for someone who rides motorcycles in public and plays music for fun.
(9)Yes, but far shallower than I care for!
(10)I'm hate able...yup, I hate you.
(11)Sorry, got all the shoes I can wear.
(12)Realy? So do I!
(13)I don't know any chinese, thank God.
Now I have something, along these lines, to share. I was out with some girl friends for a ladies night at a bar owned by friends of ours. A man kept coming on to me and I kept turning him down. Finally he said, "What, are you gay?" I made a face that expressed total nausea and said with a tone of utter disgust, "Yeah, like I'd have to be to turn you down!"
"I'm a rounded person" - The cops rounded him up yesterday.
"Close my eyes just ta look at you" - Because, believe me, you ain't no oil-painting!
"Deeper than I look" - You'd just have to be.
"I'm not bald, I just shave my head." - And I'm not blind but I have to wear these dark glasses because the sun is relecting off your cranium.
"Are you sure you want honesty?"
- It's better than VD.
"Close my eyes just ta look at you"
- I'm not that ugly.
"I'm a rounded person"
- Round is a shape.
"Nice dog seeks poodle to pamper"
- I gave up diapers years ago.
"I'm not bald, I shave my head"
- Because I'm going bald.
"Ready to settle."
- Apparently willing to settle for less.
"Let's watch a video in front of the fireplace with some chinese."
- Will I get to see 'One hung Low'?
After another cup of coffee I could do better.
“Are you sure you want honesty?” Sure it is what I want. But why should you be and different?
“Close my eyes just ta look at you.” Good idea. Count to 30. I’ll be SO long gone.
“I’m a rounded person.” Really round? Charlie Brown round?
“Cheese in search of macaroni” Person in search of exit.
“Nice Dog Seeks Poodle to Pamper” Better check out a few kennels. Bring newspaper.
“Tree hugging mammal seeks the same.” Hug the tree. Three’s a crowd.
“What’s this button do?” It’s my new “asshole ejector”. Watch. Byyyyyyeeeeee!
“I sometimes perform music and ride my motorcycle for fun” Boy I imagine that draws a crowd. Hey everyone here comes the yodeling bike rider again!
“Deeper than I look.” Let me tell you a secret, “You’d have to be.”
“I am love able.” But not do able.
“Looking for my sole mate.” Try the aquarium.
“I’m not bald I just shave my head.” I suppose you aren’t “dumb as a rock” either. You just “don’t use your brain.”
“Ready to settle.” Too late. That ship has sailed.
“Let’s watch a video in front of the fireplace with some good Chinese.” Great. You bring the DVD player that won’t melt in the fire and I’ll bring Mai Pao. Mai is a very good Chinese person.
"Let's watch a video in front of the fireplace with some chinese."
How many?
ba-duh-bum
You're all hysterical. Gotta pick a winner. Thinking......
"Are you sure you want honesty?"
No. I wouldn't want you to be a traitor to your gender.
"Close my eyes just ta look at you."
And I open mine to click "Next!"
"I'm a rounded person."
"Rounded"? Is that code for "obese"?
"Cheese in search of macaroni"
Poetry. Sheer poetry.
"Nice dog seeks poodle to pamper"
I don't have time for paper-training.
"Tree-hugging mammal seeks same"
You misread. I said "tree humping".
"What's this button do?"
It's your navel, you idiot. Pull out the lint and you'll see.
".....I sometimes perform music in public and ride my motorcycle for fun."
I thought Jerry Garcia was dead.
"Deeper than I look."
I guess I may get my ankles wet, then.
"I am love able."
They ARE doing wonders with pharmaceuticals these days, aren't they.
"Looking for my sole mate."
I'd recommend a Pinot Grigio.
"I'm not bald. I just shave my head"
All the better to see the skin flake off your scalp.
"Ready to settle."
Get a setter. I recommend Irish.
“Let’s watch a video in front of the fireplace with some good Chinese."
I suppose you'll want to split the $21.95 that will cost.
I will announce a winner this evening! You are all quite funny. Hard decision.
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