Saturday Comeback Challenge Round 12 ~ The Bizarre Bunch

1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. This week there is a BONUS BOOBOO that is too weird to believe. Spelling errors are from original profiles and not my own. Write a comedic response to any or all of these. The more you can answer, the better your chance of winning.
2. You have until 11:59 pm Monday EST to send in your answers via email.

3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I won't post inappropriate or sexually explicit responses. Subtle is good! Otherwise, I get unwanted attention from sites I'd rather not attract. Just look through previous competitions if you're not sure where/how to cross the line.

4. I will announce the winner in Tuesday's post. You will get a link back to your site and a permanent place in my sidebar as a former winner -plus untold fame and glory.

Last Week's Winner: SGT DUB in Afghanistan

GOOD LUCK! There's only one word to describe this week's round of baffling bachelors: BIZARRE. Here we go....

1. My best assets are my open mindedness and my belief that everyone is essentially good at heart. Luckily, I have no faults but I do sweat a lot when I dance.

2. I dont really know what the problem is. I tried the nice guy approach - that hasn't worked. I tried the treat you like dirt approach - that hasn't worked. I tried doing the whole ignoring you thing - that hasn't worked. I watched the movie What Women Want and you apparently still don't get it.

3. Hanky Seeks Panky!

4. I'm in the dark. Are U afraid of the dark?

5. I am quite accomplished. I invented an equation to measure happiness that multiplies the acres of your land and the number of your trees.

6. hi my name is frank and i've been lost for seven years. i lost my love seven years ago and i am thinking that its been time to look for a new love.

7. Someone Who Is Going To Get Lucky. I'm a leo, a tiger, and was born on the cusp of the 186th and 187th day of the Mayan calendar, which is a death day #4 and a deer day.

8. At first, I wasn't too keen on trying to meet someone this way then I figured this might be a really good way at meeting someone.

9. Looking for a female who shows interest. If any of this interests you drop me a massage!!!

10. I would hope the person I could hopefully be with, would be open and honest about herself as I would hopefully be about myself.

BONUS BooBoo: My ideal dream date and I would watch spinner dolphins earn their name as your panga slam-bams over glittering seas.

(I'm so there.)