November 28, 2006

Round 3 Comeback Challenge WINNER!

November 25, 2006 Saturday Comeback Challenger contenders were a tough bunch to judge. You're all very funny.
I just have one thing to say.....

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Compete Against Her!

(There's a clue there somewhere...keep reading.)

Here are the questions and each individual contestant's answer. I have highlighted the ones that tickled my funny bone in each case. The contestant with the most tickles wins. (Isn't that scientific?) I thought so.
NOTE: LONESOME COWBOY ADVERTIZER MADE A SPECIAL APPEARANCE DURING THIS WEEK'S COMPETITION. Click here to read his crazy dialogue in the comments section under Bazza's name. He doesn't have too much between the ears but somehow he managed to kidnap the Englishman and use his computer. Such a romantic fool that Cowboy. Sigh.

1. "I get along well with all kinds of people and never judge anyone until I spend time with them."
Bazza: He must have made a lot of his cell-mates very unhappy.EphiphanyAlone: I assume everyone else is an asshole. It saves time.Bond: I only wish the Judge who heard my case felt the same way.
Bud: Great. Let’s get together. Then please judge me. Then shoot me in the head.
Jan: Done a lot of time have you?
Madd: Can you say I like my alone time?

2. I love to go out to eat and shop but I also love to stay in and play with my toys.

Epiphany: Are you looking for a date or a babysitter?
Bond: If you get along with your toys so well, then exactly why do you need to meet someone else?
Bud: Please get your Mommy for me. 6 year-olds should not be on a dating site.
Jan: 2. Sometimes I like to shoot strangers who share TMI, and sometimes I like to stay in and think about shooting them
Madd: hey how old are you? Chris Hanson from NBC there with you??

#3 "Give Me a Spin"

Bazza: I think he means give him a toss!
Epiphany: Give me a break.Bond: Does this mean I can tie a rope around your neck and pull?
Bud: First I will blindfold you. During the spin I will run away.Jan: I can't, I forgot my Dramamine.Madd: If I do that wont your head fall off??

#4 One of the Last Hopeless Romantic Men
Bazza: It's so painfully honest that I don't even need to say it.
Epiphany: You're right about the hopeless part.Bond: is in question... Man.. I doubt it.
Bud: Good for you. No sense giving you reason to hope, then.
Jan: I recomend counceling for those feelings of hopelessness. Madd: isn’t that an oxymorom..romance and men???

#5 "Get a Hold of me and Let's See What Happens"

Epiphany: Get a hold of yourself.
Bond: Slips my fingers around your neck and squeezes.. OH LOOK YOU TURNED RED
Bud: Before or after I get sick?
Jan: Get a grip.Madd: so, is this your way of telling me you have a death wish???

#6 "Good Ole Boy Seeks Good Women"
Bazza: I wonder how many he can handle at one time?
Epiphany: Sorry, the idea of menage-a-redneck really has no appeal. (Mimi's all-time favorite answer of the day. Hands down)Bond: What, your mother, aunt and sister aren't enough for you?
Bud: How many do you need?
Jan: Sorry indifferant woman here.
Madd: ….hey I thought you had a flock of sheep to keep you happy..! what happened, they can’t cook..??!

#7 "I have all ten fingers and all my toes. If you are lucky I will show you some magic tricks."

Bazza: And if you’re very lucky you can see his webbed feet.Epiphany: If I was lucky, you would've left on your shoes. Ewww!!Bond: I have one finger to show you.
Bud: I’d only like to see one. You disappear.
Jan: My parole officer said after the last magician I shot, no more magic shows
Madd: Well I guess you ran out of luck when they passed out your fingers and toes and forgot to give you a brain to go with them..! or ..oh sorry you just ran out of luck..maybe next time ( are cracking me up here)

#8 "Looking For the Other Half of Me"

Bazza: Let’s hope it’s the top half that’s missing.
Epiphany: Keep looking.
Bond: Looking for a complete person..not looking to care for someone.
Bud: Really. Is it a left/right thing or a top/bottom thing? If (Or is that like a “half-face” on a profile)
Jan: Sorry, I am all me!
Madd: OH MY GAWD…there’s more of you??!! (Mims says ha ha ha! I loved this line.)

#9 "Are You Ready For the Mile High Club?"

Epiphany: Are you ready for The Out-of-luck Club?Bond: You must be high to think I am.Bud: Are you ready for the Award of “Worst Opening Line Ever”?
Jan: Not if you're the welcoming committe!
Madd: .....are you ready for the drop dead club??!!
Mimi: Sorry, I'm afraid of heights.

#10 "I love to watch a good movie cudding on the couch."

Bazza: I think he means chewing the cud.
Epiphany: MooBond: Cudding? Isn't this something a cow does?.
Bud: Then it is lucky that I am a cow. Movie & cudding? It doesn’t get better than that.Jan: Well I know a few cows you could cudd with, here's the number to the dairy farm!
Madd: yeah I know what sort of movies you watch on cable..and I have another word for what you’re doing on that couch??!! (Shocking!)

THE GIRL'S ON A HOT STREAK (and she's cute as a button)
Hands down.....the winner is EPIPHANY ALONE
with 9 out of 10 laugh-out-louds from yours truly.

Congratulations EpiphanyAlone!

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here


Epiphany Alone said...

Thanks, Mimi! It was a lot of fun to participate.

There are some great one-liners - you guys really bring on the funny.

Hoo-ah! Bragging rights for the next family gathering...priceless.

Bond said...

Epiphany - Much congratulations... Keeping the title in the family must make Dad proud...

:::Begins writing answers for next weeks contest::: OH, I guess I better wait for the quotes first

Mimi Lenox said...

Epiphany, Thank YOU for participating and making all of us laugh. You did, indeed, steal the title from your dear ole dad. Keep up the good work!

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond...I can't wait to read your answers this Saturday. I'm going to find some really good ones. I just know it.