The Comeback Challenge Round 38 The Queen of Snark Has Arrived

Round 38 of The Comeback Challenge was soooo much fun to read this week. Six great contestants from California to Canada. The snark was sensational. Must have been the looney lunar spin on the moon last night. The contestants were on a blushing blue romantic streak. It was perfectly unbloggable at times! Great competition. And oh. P.S. Watch out for the dreaded bleeps. Contestant #1 Frank in Canada from Honk 'n Hollr 1. Give me the truth or go away. Nah, I think I'll lie a lot just to see if your ears turn red. = 1 2. Special explosives in a small package Anger Management is three doors to the left Sir. =1 3. The truth is the only way you are going to know if you enjoying beeing around me is to contact me No thanks honey, I'm scared I'll break out in hives. =3 4. Just looking to spend time with some one and getting to no them Great! Someone who doesn't take yes for an answer. =3 5. I am not a couch tomato. But you do look a little sauced though. =3 6. I am not a bar hoper. Low expectations have we? Great, because no matter how far I lower my bar, it will still be too high for you. =3 7. Have you ever felt totally conected and udderly loved? I've been off the net for over a week, and stop looking at my.....MEN! =2 8. I will say "God Bless You" when you sneeze. So will the bag boy at Wal*Mart and you've got about as much of a chance buddy. =1 9. Salt and Pepper Looking for the Shaker Sorry, dis be Mennonite country....Vant to buy a cheekin? =1 10. Well Behaved Men Rarely Make History They rarely make Herstory either. Now toodle off, I just don't have the time. =3 Tie - Breaker: The Heart Sings Songs That Don't Lie Only in the shower, buddy..Only in the shower. =2

Frank's Total Points = 21 (Tied with Desert Songbird for 2nd place) + 2 points for the tie-breaker = 23

Contestant #2 Desert Songbird from “The Ice Box” 1. Give me the truth or go away. I’ll save you the trouble and go away now. = 2 2. Special explosives in a small package (watch it, players....) I’m allergic to flammable materials. =2 3. The truth is the only way you are going to know if you enjoying beeing around me is to contact me How about I give you the truth now and buzz on outta here. I’m not into contact sports on the first meeting. =3 4. Just looking to spend time with some one and getting to no them I think I can say “no” without spending time with you. =3 5. I am not a couch tomato. You say tomato, I say potato. =2 6. I am not a bar hoper. Hope springs eternal, so I’m barring you from me. =3 7. Have you ever felt totally conected and udderly loved? Sorry, not really into bestiality, but go ahead and milk that one for all it’s worth. =1 8. I will say "God Bless You" when you sneeze. And I’ll say, “Don’t let the door hit you on the **## when you leave. =2 9. Salt and Pepper Looking for the Shaker I’m more of a garlic girl myself. =1 10. Well Behaved Men Rarely Make History I’ve had plenty in my history, and in my present as well. =2 Tie - Breaker: The Heart Sings Songs That Don't Lie Then I must be tone deaf, because all I’m hearing is static. =1 Desert Songbird's total points = 21 TTied with Frank for 2nd place) + 1 tie-breaker point = 22

Contestant #3 1. Give me the truth or go away. The truth is I'm going away =3 2. Special explosives in a small package I'll try not to stand down wind =1 3. The truth is the only way you are going to know if you enjoying beeing around me is to contact me So if I punch you in the eye, you'll tell me if it stings? =2 4. Just looking to spend time with some one and getting to no them No!!! =3 5. I am not a couch tomato. Is that because a tomoato is a fruit and you're more like a vegetable? =1 6. I am not a bar hoper. You're obviously not a brain surgeon either =3 7. Have you ever felt totally conected and udderly loved? Yes, when I was a baby and breast feeding. Let me guess, you still live with your mom =3 8. I will say "God Bless You" when you sneeze. Ya but I bet you blame the dog when you **## (I'm in a bleeping mood.....) 9. Salt and Pepper Looking for the Shaker Here, put your hand in my blender =1 10. Well Behaved Men Rarely Make History Who did you say you were again? =1 Tie - Breaker: The Heart Sings Songs That Don't Lie ****### uh.....something about a Frank Zappa song that I had to zap.

Spinner's Total points = 18 (tied with Bond)

-- Contestant #4 Bond from The Big Leather Couch in Tennessee 1. Give me the truth or go away. You are nothing special. Can I stay now? =3 2. Special explosives in a small package Bomb squad called and will disarm (well you gave us a warning, so I complied) =1 3. The truth is the only way you are going to know if you enjoying beeing around me is to contact me Back to the hive with you before I pull out the wasp spray =2 4. Just looking to spend time with some one and getting to no them The best word in that sentence was NO =1 5. I am not a couch tomato. Potato, PotAto, Tomato, TomAto…all the same, you are lame =2 6. I am not a bar hoper. I hope that I had a metal bar right about now =1 7. Have you ever felt totally conected and udderly loved? Not since Betsy the cow died and we ate her for dinner. =2 8. I will say "God Bless You" when you sneeze. I will say “good bye’ as I leave =3 9. Salt and Pepper Looking for the Shaker In this humidity, I bet you clog the holes =1 10. Well Behaved Men Rarely Make History Clowns like you rarely make it past the profile page =2 Tie - Breaker: The Heart Sings Songs That Don't Lie My wife left me for my dog and my truck was stolen…OK, country song finished ! =3

Bond's Total points = 18 (tied with Spinners)

Contestant #5 Katherine Wading Through My Stream of Consciousness from Santa Cruz, California 1. Give me the truth or go away. Truthfully…I'm already gone =3 2. Special explosives in a small package Bleepity bleepity bleep (sorry, Katherine!) 3. The truth is the only way you are going to know if you enjoying beeing around me is to contact me awww honey…just buzz off… =3 4. Just looking to spend time with some one and getting to no them well…I didn't really want a "yes" man anyway… 1 5. I am not a couch tomato. Tomato…potato…let's call the whole thing off =2 6. I am not a bar hoper. How about a limbo wisher? =2 7. Have you ever felt totally conected and udderly loved? No…but then again…I am not a cow… =2 8. I will say "God Bless You" when you sneeze. Apparently I am allergic to you. =3 9. Salt and Pepper Looking for the Shaker need someone just a little spicier =2 10. Well Behaved Men Rarely Make History then again…well behaved men get to make out…. =2 Tie - Breaker: The Heart Sings Songs That Don't Lie However yours is WAY off key…. =1

Total points for Katherine who survived her first experience with the bleep machine = 20

Contestant #6 And As The World Turns - who has never made it through a competition without getting the dreaded bleep -and she keeps coming back for more. Turnbaby is always uncensored and that's why we love her! 1. Give me the truth or go away. The truth is ...I wanna go away. =3 2. Special explosives in a small package Hmmm--can't seem to find the fuse. =1 3. The truth is the only way you are going to know if you enjoying beeing around me is to contact me Honey I'd need a really good buzz it seems. =2 4. Just looking to spend time with some one and getting to no them Not if I no you first =3 5. I am not a couch tomato. You say tomayto I say tomahto let's call the whole thing off =2 6. I am not a bar hoper. That's a real good thing sugar ;-) =1 7. Have you ever felt totally conected and udderly loved? Well I've always thought fake $$## were an utter con-does that count? =2 8. I will say "God Bless You" when you sneeze. Will you say ciao when I leave? =3 9. Salt and Pepper Looking for the Shaker Ah but the real question is--can you cut the mustard? =3 10. Well Behaved Men Rarely Make History And they rarely make her story either. =3 Tie - Breaker: The Heart Sings Songs That Don't Lie Well the song may not but that heart--she's a lying beyotch =2 Turnbaby's total points = 23 Contestant #6 Joe In the Corner ~ Riverside, California 1. Give me the truth or go away. Short, concise. I like that in you. I agree, so here goes nothing: I think you should eat less probably and it looks as though you are developing a rare form of gingivitis. Can I pick you up a 7? =1 2. Special explosives in a small package So, when did you start wearing adult diapers? =1 3. The truth is the only way you are going to know if you enjoying beeing around me is to contact me. Okay, should I contact you on your cell phone, or back at the hive. =2 4. Just looking to spend time with some one and getting to no them You must be a dietician? Many of them have gotten to "no" me quite a bit. =1 5. I am not a couch tomato. Oh!!!! The stains that you could have left, but won't! My, you are a catch. =1 6. I am not a bar hoper. So then, that must NOT run in the family on the mother's side during pregnancy =1 7. Have you ever felt totally connected and udderly loved? Oh, I could go on until the cows come home... which coincidentally.... =3 8. I will say "God Bless You" when you sneeze. It seems as though somebody should say this to YOU more often, much more often than you probably sneeze. =1 9. Salt and Pepper Looking for the Shaker It's in the closet, next to your crack pipe and collection of porcelain ashtrays =1 10. Well Behaved Men Rarely Make History ... on the next, "To Catch a Predator" =3 Tie - Breaker: The Heart Sings Songs That Don't Lie You may want to get a second cardiologist's opinion. =2

Total points for first time player Joseph = 15

A special thank you to our new contestants Joseph, Katherine, and Desert Songbird. Please play again!

1st place Turnbaby from And As The World Turns in the great state of Kentucky! with 23 points

2nd place Frank from Foxxyfyrre's Honk 'n Hollr

3rd place Desert Songbird from The Ice Box

Congratulations, Miss Turnbaby - The Queen of Snark