Comeback Challenge Round 27 Winners A No Bleep Contest

Yes, it's true. I did not have to activate the sacred Bleep machine! And you were all very funny. It was a close race for sure. New contestants this week were Mrs. Dub of the infamous DUB family who gave her husband a run-for-his-money. (Well...there is no money involved in this contest. Just fame and glory.) And Mr. Pisstaker (bleep!bleep!bleep!....that doesn't count because it wasn't an answer), did send in one answer and waded in the cesspool of insanity for a moment. I think it was too much for him. Not the comedy bit; I think he was in blog shock. Maybe he'll return. Behold the answers to this week's Saturday Comeback Challenge. The Flea Market bunch. Each and every comeback will be scored on a scale of 1-3, three being the highest. The contestant with the highest score wins. Total scores do not include the tie-breaker score unless necessary. Did anyone make that perfect score of 30 points? We shall see. Contestant #1 SGT DUB 1. Higher Standard? Lower it a bit for me. What’s lower than zero? =3 2. I am going to find someone who has this kind of open and free attitude. I’m not necessarily looking for a girl who likes to run around sticking her head into snow banks; of course, I won’t hold it against you if that’s your thing. I’m an open minded guy. By open minded, you mean no actual tissue between those ears, guess you’re the one with head in a snow bank. =2 3. I live on my own with my dog and cat (not my idea). My dog is a Daddy's girl and the cat is, well a cat. So the animals make you live alone? Do they know you’re on the computer? =2 4. What do you think? Do you think it could be you? I think it could. The future is wide open and it will be what we make of it. Anything is possible. In the words of Emerson, "If we are related, we shall meet." I think that was Billy Bob, not Emerson. =2 5. I am looking for a woman who puts herself and others before herself. If I find this woman, I will put her before me, and she will put me before her, and in return, we will be together for ever. Without the split personality, how would I put myself before myself? =2 6. Give Me That Funny Feeling In My Tummy Cod liver oil should do the trick. =1 7. I Am What, I What Am Got Spinach? =2 8. Eddy Needs a Teddy And then I shall read you Dr. Seuss’ ‘Cat In The Hat’ =3 9. Sometimes you find the most priceless things at a flea market. Things too good to be called 'used' or 'second hand'. That's how I think of myself. I'm separated, and hopefully soon properly divorced, and here am in the flea market of life I once saw a flea circus. Would you be the clown? =2 10. GI Joe Looking For a Connection I’m thinking boot to the head. =3 Tie-Breaker: Nice gay with heart, and soul I think you entered the wrong dating site. =1 SGT's Total Points -22 Contestant #2 (I think she's related to Contestant #1) Welcome to the Competition! 1. Higher Standard? Lower it a bit for me. Sorry, I’m not into the limbo =2 2. I am going to find someone who has this kind of open and free attitude. I’m not necessarily looking for a girl who likes to run around sticking her head into snow banks; of course, I won’t hold it against you if that’s your thing. I’m an open minded guy. Maybe you should open your mind and fill it with snow =1 3. I live on my own with my dog and cat (not my idea). My dog is a Daddy's girl and the cat is, well a cat. What did the dog and cat do to deserve eviction? =2 4. What do you think? Do you think it could be you? I think it could. The future is wide open and it will be what we make of it. Anything is possible. In the words of Emerson, "If we are related, we shall meet." How does that saying go . . . you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family – I prefer to pick my nose! =1 5. I am looking for a woman who puts herself and others before herself. If I find this woman, I will put her before me, and she will put me before her, and in return, we will be together for ever. Yeah, I’ll put you before myself – just go stand in front of my car and I’ll be right there! -=1 6. Give Me That Funny Feeling In My Tummy Sushi Anyone? =1 7. I Am What, I What Am Somebody didn’t pay attention in class =2 8. Eddy Needs a Teddy Yeah, but Teddy don’t need Eddy! =3 9. Sometimes you find the most priceless things at a flea market. Things too good to be called 'used' or 'second hand'. That's how I think of myself. I'm separated, and hopefully soon properly divorced, and here am in the flea market of life Okay, now I’m upset – I used to like flea markets, but you’ve ruined it now. The idea of finding a “used man” just makes me want to vomit. I’d rather buy used underwear!!! =2 10. GI Joe Looking For a Connection Try the wall plug – better yet, stick a screwdriver in it -2 Tie-Breaker: Nice gay with heart, and soul Sorry, I only go for the mean gays =3 Mrs. Dub's Total Points = 17 Contestant #3 1. Higher Standard? Lower it a bit for me. To paraphrase Chubby Checker “How Low Do I need to go?”=2 2. I am going to find someone who has this kind of open and free attitude. I’m not necessarily looking for a girl who likes to run around sticking her head into snow banks; of course, I won’t hold it against you if that’s your thing. I’m an open minded guy. SO you are looking for a husky who loves to romp in the snow? You have to be open-minded if that is your thing =1 3. I live on my own with my dog and cat (not my idea).My dog is a Daddy's girl and the cat is, well a cat. So, the cat is holding you hostage? Is that it buck-o? I am afraid to even ask about your relationship with your dog.=2 4. What do you think? Do you think it could be you? I think it could. The future is wide open and it will be what we make of it. Anything is possible. In the words of Emerson, "If we are related, we shall meet." You are from Kentucky aren’t you? =3 5. I am looking for a woman who puts herself and others before herself. If I find this woman, I will put her before me, and she will put me before her, and in return, we will be together for ever. This is a game of leap-frog isn’t it? =2 6. Give Me That Funny Feeling In My Tummy Here, drink this expired milk. =2 7. I Am What, I What Am Popeye after a few drinks? =2 8. Eddy Needs a Teddy This might not be the exact website for you then. Try http://www.men4men.com/ (I actually made this site up only to find it does exist!) =2 9. Sometimes you find the most priceless things at a flea market. Things too good to be called 'used' or 'second hand'. That's how I think of myself. I'm separated, and hopefully soon properly divorced, and here am in the flea market of life I am more of a Neiman Marcus person myself. =1 10. GI Joe Looking For a Connection Have you tried the group on the corner? =1 Tie-Breaker: Nice gay with heart, and soul If your name is Teddy, # 8 might like your number. =2 Bond's Total Points = 18 Contestant #4 From the Canadian cave 1. Higher Standard? Lower it a bit for me. Sorry, not into digging trenches. =1 2. I am going to find someone who has this kind of open and free attitude. I'm not necessarily looking for a girl who likes to run around sticking her head into snow banks; of course, I won't hold it against you if that's your thing. I'm an open minded guy.Free-range chickens are open and free, you probably won't even get hen-pecked.=1 3. I live on my own with my dog and cat (not my idea).My dog is a Daddy's girl and the cat is, well a cat. Jon: Good Odie, that's my girl.Garfield: Is Jon ever going to notice that I put that bra on Odie? Sheese, if it wasn't for the lasagna, I wouldn't be here either. =1 4. What do you think? Do you think it could be you? I think it could. The future is wide open and it will be what we make of it. Anything is possible. In the words of Emerson, "If we are related, we shall meet." So, pumpkin is your favorite part of Halloween? =1 5. I am looking for a woman who puts herself and others before herself. If I find this woman, I will put her before me, and she will put me before her, and in return, we will be together for ever. We used to call this game "Leap Frog"---Get over it! =2 6. Give Me That Funny Feeling In My Tummy Who let Hannibal out? =1 7. I Am What, I What Am And OH SO ALONE. =2 8. Eddy Needs a Teddy How many 'secrets' do you think Victoria can keep? =3 9. Sometimes you find the most priceless things at a flea market. Things too good to be called 'used' or 'second hand'. That's how I think of myself. I'm separated, and hopefully soon properly divorced, and here am in the flea market of life I know 'first hand' that you should 'Bon Marche'. That's French for Good Walk--take a long one. =1 10. GI Joe Looking For a Connection Barbie texting Ken: "Ken, Joe's trying to hit on me again. Who gave him my cell number anyhow? Oh, never mind." =2 Tie-Breaker: Nice gay with heart, and soul Eddy seems nice enough. Your name wouldn't be Teddy would it? =3

Frank's Total Points = 15

Contestant #5 Anyhow Blogs 1. Higher Standard? Lower it a bit for me. I did, by a lot. But you still couldn't match up. =3 2. I am going to find someone who has this kind of open and free attitude. I'm not necessarily looking for a girl who likes to run around sticking her head into snow banks; of course, I won't hold it against you if that's your thing. I'm an open minded guy. How about a gay who likes to run around sticking his head into snow banks? Maybe you could give Mr tie-breaker a chance? He's definitely open-minded. =2 3. I live on my own with my dog and cat (not my idea). My dog is a Daddy's girl and the cat is, well a cat. Could you explain why did your parents chased you out of the house again? -2 4. What do you think? Do you think it could be you? I think it could. The future is wide open and it will be what we make of it. Anything is possible. In the words of Emerson, "If we are related, we shall meet." In the words of Quentin Crisp, "If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style." =3 5. I am looking for a woman who puts herself and others before herself. If I find this woman, I will put her before me, and she will put me before her, and in return, we will be together for ever. It never matters who goes first. The only sad thing is knowing that you'll be the last one on the shelf. =3 6. Give Me That Funny Feeling In My Tummy Sure, just lie back relax yourself while I bring out my sledgehammer. =1 7. I Am What, I What Am Don't undertand I, you what saying you're. =2 8. Eddy Needs a Teddy I all out of teddys at the moment, but you have have my grizzly for now. -1 9. Sometimes you find the most priceless things at a flea market. Things too good to be called 'used' or 'second hand'. That's how I think of myself. I'm separated, and hopefully soon properly divorced, and here am in the flea market of life But most of the stuff in flea markets are dirty, broken and worthless. And I definitely don't think you are one of those gems in the flea markets. =1 10. GI Joe Looking For a Connection I heard Uncle Sam is looking for new recruits. =3

Total Points for Anyhow = 21

Contestant #6 1. Higher Standard? Lower it a bit for me. I've already scraped the gum off my shoe, How low do I need to go? =2 2. I am going to find someone who has this kind of open and free attitude. I’m not necessarily looking for a girl who likes to run around sticking her head into snow banks; of course, I won’t hold it against you if that’s your thing. I’m an open minded guy. Can I stick your head in the snow? =2 3. I live on my own with my dog and cat (not my idea). My dog is a Daddy's girl and the cat is, well a cat. Who's idea was it, your pets? Who's actually in charge there? =1 4. What do you think? Do you think it could be you? I think it could. The future is wide open and it will be what we make of it. Anything is possible. In the words of Emerson, "If we are related, we shall meet." Thank God we're not related =1 5. I am looking for a woman who puts herself and others before herself. If I find this woman, I will put her before me, and she will put me before her, and in return, we will be together for ever. I would gladly put you before me when walking into traffic =2 6. Give Me That Funny Feeling In My Tummy Here's 24 exlax =1 7. I Am What, I What Am I know you are but what am I =2 8. Eddy Needs a Teddy Try Transvestites 'R' Us =1 9. Sometimes you find the most priceless things at a flea market. Things too good to be called 'used' or 'second hand'. That's how I think of myself. I'm separated, and hopefully soon properly divorced, and here am in the flea market of life Blow up dolls are in aisle 3 and don't forget the flea powder. =2 10. GI Looking For a Connection Bath tub - hair dryer =3 Tie-Breaker: Nice gay with heart, and soul That's just silly! Erase! Erase! Erase! =1 Total Points for Spinnerz = 17 Tie-Breaker: Nice gay with heart, and soul I think you came to the wrong site. This place is for people looking for a partner of the OPPOSITE sex. =1 Contestant #7 - The Strong Silent Type aka The Silent Contestant aka Boyfriend Bud aka BudWeiser aka The King of Comedy 1.Higher Standard? Lower it a bit for me. Welcome to “Journey to the Center of the Earth”. 2. I am going to find someone who has this kind of open and free attitude. I’m not necessarily looking for a girl who likes to run around sticking her head into snow banks; of course, I won’t hold it against you if that’s your thing. I’m an open minded guy. Here on the planet “Earth” we don’t have a lot of women sticking their heads in snow banks. So, what planet are you from? 3. I live on my own with my dog and cat (not my idea). My dog is a Daddy's girl and the cat is, well a cat. You are a moron. And the cat is still a cat. 4. What do you think? Do you think it could be you? I think it could. The future is wide open and it will be what we make of it. Anything is possible. In the words of Emerson, "If we are related, we shall meet." I think he meant that is how you find your cousins. 5. I am looking for a woman who puts herself and others before herself. If I find this woman, I will put her before me, and she will put me before her, and in return, we will be together for ever. Pardon me. I need to barf. 6. Give Me That Funny Feeling In My Tummy. Like nausea? 7. I Am What, I What Am No it is “I yam what I yam”. I hate it when they misquote Popeye. 8. Eddy Needs a Teddy. Eddy needs a rubber room. 9. Sometimes you find the most priceless things at a flea market. Things too good to be called 'used' or 'second hand'. That's how I think of myself. I'm separated, and hopefully soon properly divorced, and here am in the flea market of life. I'd testify in court that you have the brain of a flea. 10. GI Joe Looking For a Connection. Try Barbie. Next aisle. Tie-Breaker: Nice gay with heart, and soul. You are in the wrong section, dude. Click “Men seeking men” then hit search again.

Congratulations to...... SGT DUB for a 1st place win with 22 points! ANYHOW Blogs won 2nd place with 21 points Bond on The Couch places 3rd with 18 points.

Great contest! Thanks for entering. Now about those prizes......How about M&Ms??