Comeback Challenge Round 26 Winners I'm Just an Oyster Cracker

Let's call this the contest with the most bleeps. Hands down. What were you thinking?! (Don't answer that. Please don't answer that.) Each and every comeback will be scored on a scale of 1-3, three being the highest. The contestant with the highest score wins. Total scores do not include the tie-breaker score unless necessary. Did anyone make that perfect score of 30 points? We shall see. Watch for the Bleep alerts. This contest is full of them. Seems I picked a controversial question or two that caused a naughty backlash of giggles. People, please! (well....your answers were funny but this is a PG site) And sometimes my idea of PG is more Julie Andrews and less the-artist-formerly-known-as-Prince-before-the-religious-experience. And sometimes my idea of PG makes no sense to anyone but me, but I figure it's my contest so I do my best. Luckily - for those who want to sneak over to your individual sites and get the uncensored versions - you've preserved your R-rated selves on your blogs and posted your real answers - shame on you! (and me). I'll repent later in the day. Right now we'd like to present a set of bachelors I can only describe as The Bold and the Pitiful. Great job, everyone! Contestant #1 And As The World Turns 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. Well I used to call it my 'delete box' but now it's my 'litter box' just for you.Wanna try it? =2 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop Mimi says: BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. Well sugar then you are even =3 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. Four score and seven yards ahead of you I flee from the warts and blinder--wtf is that??? =3 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life . Wow someone who finally appreciates an artist in the kitchen *grinning* -2 (that was a borderline bleep...I think....I'm so confused.) 6. Let's have a great conservation. Sure--let's conserve any effort at a connection =2 7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew LOLOLOL --I am sorry--this is just friggin funny--KUDOS =1 8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. Any independent thoughts-=-you'll really need those =2 9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. Hi YA!! =1 10. Fist Time's a Charm Man --most guys are shy with their ring finger =3 Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball Bleep Bleep and double Bleep

Total points for the giggling Goddess = 19

Contestant #2 - a newbie to the competition.... First time competitor Bobbarama throws his hat in the proverbial ring and also experiences the dreaded bleep. Behold. 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. What he hears: I'm fun, adventurous, crazy wild. They LOVE me!! What they're really saying: You're obnoxious, always prying, embarrassing in public. Go away. PLEASE!! =2 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop. Wore out my welcome at the old truckstop. Looking for a new 'lay'-over and cook. =2 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. Bleep bleepity bleep 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. Translation: Fun-loving guy with facial warts and a drinking problem. Needs his own space (house) occasionally. =2 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life. "We hab a lot in comon, girl. I lub moves two! And I lub someone cooking for me. Let's met!!" =2 6. Let's have a great conservation. I can give you two minutes. American Idol's on next. =1 7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew I'm a riddle, wrapped inside a mystery, inside an enigma. Even I don't know what I'm talking about. =3 8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. I always find the missing stuff in the socks drawer. Worth a look. Just sayin' =2 9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. "Good morning. Midlife Crisis Counseling Center. How can we help you today?" =2 10. Fist Time's a Charm Big Time Bleep Bleep Bleep Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball Sorry. Belly button lint's not my thing. But my cat will love you. =2 Total Bobbarama points = 16

Contestant # 3 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. Anything? is that gender exclusive? have I got a list of things for you... ever tried waxing you legs? bwhahaha Didn't I see you on a Whiskas cat food commercial? =1 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop I suggest getting a dog, I know some one that's like a cat if your interested. =1 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. That's because there always talking about how hot that other guy is. In fact, most women must be completely boring to you. =3 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. more like an Ape in a spelling bee. trust me I would get out of your house as soon as possible. =2 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life . I hope you can read the recipe card. you got beat up a lot in school didn't you? =3 6. Let's have a great conservation. Bye. =1 7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew My Dad makes the best Oyster stew. he just got out of jail, want to come for dinner? =1 8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. God clean out you room when you were gone. Yes he found the pipe under you bed =3 .9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Sometimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. Congratulations! you have just graduated to a new level of idiot! my opine is you are destine to remain single. so injoy it, you don't have much time left. =3 10. Fist Time's a Charm Shut up! You had me at Fist! =2 Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball Aw, I bet your ugly your cute, like a pit bull. ewww... =1 Solitary's Total Score =20

Contestant #4.

Sitting on The Couch and back to defend his title ....The Bond.

1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once.

Here kitty, go chase this ball of wool in traffic… =1

2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop

Now with an invitation like that how can I say no? OH, yeah….NO =2

3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me.

You smooth talker you… =1

4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house.

All I can say is hello, I must be going… =1

5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life .

Bob Segar? That you? Night Moves? =2

6. Let's have a great conservation.

I agree… you go to the compost heap and wait for me. =3

7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew

And I am the fingersBleep bleep and I'm so confused

8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing.

Have you tried the devil? =3

9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine.

Now you I want to hit in the head with a shovel. Not even going to be cute here …45 and your life is over…come over to the edge of this cliff and I will show you over. =2

10. Fist Time's a Charm

Total Bond points = 18 Contest #5. Hailing from Singapore....Anyhow Blogs 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. Can you always land on your feet too? How about we try skydiving without parachutes! I'm sure that will be fun! =1 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop Have you tried google? =2 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. That's because they all left after 5 minutes. =1 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. I would definitely love to get out of the house if I saw someone as ugly as a bullfrog in it. =1 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life . Yup, you're right. I'm definitely going to move. Far away from you. =1 6. Let's have a great conservation. Ok. =1 7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew Mims had to BLEEP even the Oyster Cracker. 8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. God helps those who help themselves. So stop asking him to find you a hot date. =2 9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. This proves the old saying that "The odler you get, the mroe prone you ar to hvae spileing misates" =2 10. Fist Time's a Charm Sorry, I don't date people with voilent tendicies. =1 Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball Sorry, I'm alergic to furry stuffed toys. =1

Total Anyhow points = 13

Contestant # 6. And of the female persuasion from the great state of Connecticut.... 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. Such a shame that I'm allergic to cats and prefer buying to leasing. =1 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop Keep on truckin', babe. =1 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. I can only imagine what meeting you does to them. =2 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life . So, you like moves do you? You're going love this one then - watch as I move out the door! =2 (she gave one answer for #4 & 5) 6. Let's have a great conservation. Great, we can start by conserving our energy and pursuing this no further. =3 6.I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew. Ladling up a line like that works for you? =2 7.I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. Maybe if you're lucky you could find it on Craig's List or eBay. =1 8.I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. Speaking of walks, how about you take one now? You can opine on your lack of spelling skills at the same time. =1 10. Fist Time's a Charm I feel a BLEEP coming on. There. Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball You're kidding me, right? =1 Linda's total score = 13 Contestant #7. Belle is back! Belle Princess, that is. 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. I completely agree, I had a lease once, never again. Go for the buy. =2 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop Yeah baby, referring to me as a greasy, smelly gas station/diner combo makes me hot. Take me. Take me now. =1 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. Awww is that what you tell yourself to recover from the rejection? Repeat after me: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" =1 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. A bullfrog in my blinder is more than enough to get me out of my house. Four sure. =3 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life . When did the proper use of pronouns become so out of style? Is it really that hard to type the letter "I"? =1 6. Let's have a great conservation. Right now, I'm all about conserving my brain power by not reading personal ads by people who can't spell. =2 7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew And I'm just a little annoyed with pointless euphemisms, stew on that one. =3 8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. God will love you if you stop using numerical abbreviations. =1 9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. Dr Seuss? Is that you? =1 10. Fist Time's a Charm Now, I'm impressed. Your fist tells time? Mine just bangs indignantly off the table when I see people unwilling to proofread before hitting "submit". =2 Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball I personally recommend a lint roller for all fuzz balls, lovable or non. = 1

Belle's total score = 17

Contestant #8 From the frontlines for some comic relief...SGT in Afghanistan. 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. I guess they were referring to the nine lives and you just won’t die yet. =2 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop Take I-40 go another two states, it’s on the right. =1 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. After you get them blown up? =1 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. I’m just sitting here trying to imagine a bullfrog in a blinder…why can’t you see to the side? And how does this match your personality? =3 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life . Number 9 like kicking, moves and outdoors. =1 6. Let's have a great conservation. I just did. =1 7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew Soggy? =3 8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. Well, I don’t know about calling Coke and Rum gods, but I can see your missing something, the exit. =2 9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. See number 5, he injoy moves too, and can cook for you opine. =1 10. Fist Time's a Charm Yes, I’m sure your best date is an unconscious one. =3 Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball Where I come from we call that lint. =1

Total score for SGT = 18 (tied with Bond for 3rd place - Bond did not submit a Tie-Breaker answer)

Contestant #9. Another newbie from Canada - .....and his cat, Cleo, with a clever "signature" answering style. 1. My friends and family say I'm like a cat, fun and inquisitive always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. I am interested in knowing how many lives you have left as I want a long term relationship, how many visible scars do you have, and are you saying you no longer have a full pelt. Signed Persian Prowler =1 2. Lonely trucker looking for a new truckstop. Do you do your own servicing or do you need help? Signed Pitstop Annie =2 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. Interesting! What size bit? Signed Dominatrix =1 4. My personality is like a bullfrog in a blender. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. Love horseback riding au natural but you got to promise me that you will turn into a prince if I kiss you. Signed Princess Whannabee AKA Lady Godiva =1 5. Love going to moves going out to eat. love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life I was a double for John Travolta and a closet exhibitionist. Oh heart of my secret desires. Signed Founding Member Mile High Club =1 6. Let's have a great conservation. Baby I love it when you cater to my age. Signed Sole survivor Gosh I've Forgotten =2 7. I'm just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew waaaaaaaa back at you! You're singing my song and I'll bring the biscuits Signed Bebe Toadfish =1 8. I just came back 2 god. and there is still something missing. Me Me Me I have it. Call me quick Signed Stud =2 9. I am 45 years old and still kickin. I like moves and outdoors. somtimes I like to take a walk and clear my mind. i am getting old and they a'nt much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. And a royal bleep bleep for the Canadian 10. Fist time's the charm. Bleep!

Total points for Peter = 11

Silent contestant #10.

And last but never least is the infamous Budweiser. Please babe, don't make me use the delete button on you too.....oh! I can't. You're unscoreable...er....whatever!

From the famous tape radio station known as WTIT. Let's tune in. He's also posted his answers on his site complete with pictures. 1. My friends and family say I'm like a Cat, fun and inquisitive and always getting into something. I'll try just about anything at lease once. Try going away. That could be pleasant “re”lease. 2. Lonely Trucker looking for a new truckstop. Not a great idea. Keep looking. 3. Most attractive women I meet seem to bore me. Not as much as you bore them. 4. my personality is like a bullfrog in a blinder. As four my match she must be fun and love to get out of the house. If you are in the house, trust me, she will LOVE to get out of it. 5. Love going to moves going out to eat . love staying in watching moves and cooking for that someone in my life . Eating alone often, aren’t you? 6. Let's have a great conservation. Great! Can I have it with someone else? 7. I'm Just an Oyster Cracker on the Stew. You’re cracking me up. 8. I just came back 2 god.and there is still something missing. When even God gets bored by you, you are in serious do-do. 9. I am 45 years old and still kicking. I like moves and outdoors. Somtimes i just like to take a walk to clear my mind. i am getting old and they an't much time. You only live life once so injoy it that is my opine. You like moves? Then just keep moving. 10. Fist Time's a Charm. Charming, your fist is not. Tie-Breaker: Just a Lovable Little Fuzz Ball. Oh, so you go to the Policeman’s Ball?

Total points = One kiss for each answer.

And there you have it. I promise to choose the questions more carefully next time so as not to cause me to break another delete button. The winners are.....

1st Place = Solitary Views from Canada

2nd Place = Turnbaby from And As The World Turns from Kentucky

3rd place = SGT DUB from Afghanistan (and Oklahoma)

Great job all! You totally crack me up.

Thus spaketh Mimi Queen of Bleeps