The Dating Profiles Comeback Challenge Winners (Round 23) Bleep Bleep Bleep!!!

What an interesting competition. A husband and wife blogging team from Colorado competing against each other, a newcomer from the LiveJournal blogworld placed her first time up and I had to bleep bleep answers more than any other week. You tickled my funny bone, nonetheless. Thanks for the laughs.

Now, enjoy each others' answers!

Each and every answer will be scored on a scale of one-to-three, three being the highest. The contestant with the highest score wins. No more color-coding. Did anyone make that perfect score of 30 points? Total scores do not include the tie-breaker score unless necessary.Let's see!

Contestant #1: from My Life As Think I Know It (Last week's winner!)

1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.


I'm not fiscally responsible but spiritually, with the help of Prozac, I'm okay with that. = 2

2. High My Name is Dave.


Sober your name is LOSER = 3

3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet new people and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.


I've been to 28 /me sticking tongue out at you and skipping away singing na na naa na na na = 1

4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especially laughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.


It would probably be less embarrassing if you put your pants on the outside =3

5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.


Kind of like itching a rash eh? =3

6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon.


Redneck Dictionary:
Salad fork - hair parterer. Spoon - Classy way to fling dem dere nose nuggets = 1

7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDS

I'm sure they're not homeschooled. = 2

8. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.


So was your last girlfriend a horse and did she kick you in the face? =2

9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.


... and some farver beans fsfsfsfs -1

10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight my heart.


Here, put these firecrackers in your shirt pocket =2
TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.
And 40 is an IQ =3

Sp1nners total score = 20

Tied for 3rd place with Anyhow at 20 points

Total score with Tie-Breaker = 23

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Contestant #2 EDOG's" Everything Page

and.....The Adventures of the S-Team

The AST Special Features Blog

1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.

Rich and pious doesn't make you better. It just makes you more likely to pick up the tabs on all your first dates (because you ain't getting seconds,yo). =2

2. High My Name is Dave.--

"Who?" "Dave." "WHO?" "DAVE!" "...Dave's not here." "No, man, I'M Dave!" This one totally put me into Cheech and Chong mode. =2

3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet newpeople and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.

Purty soon, Ah'm gonna git all thuh way to Oklyhoma. They's CULTURED there, Ah hear. =3

4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especiallylaughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.

Well, for starters the underwear goes UNDER your pants (I may bestretching here by assuming you were wearing pants at all). Second, if people can see your underwear while you're driving, then take it off your HEAD. Doofus. =3

5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.

They said that about Windows 95, and look what happened to it... =3

6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon.

Yup. One's a lot harder to eat soup with. But this feller's obviously cultured, and therefore from Oklyhoma. = 2

7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDS

Mimi has bleeped.

8. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.Mimi has bleeped

9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.

*sigh*. Mimi is SO going to censor this one. Yes, Ian. Mimi has bleeped.

10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight myheart.

Here's a lighter and some gasoline. Call me when you figure it out. =2

TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.-

Yes, but it's not as interesting as a dodecahedron or a septagon. Get on the treadmill, Mister Stay-Puft. =2

Ian's Total Score = 17 and three bleeps

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Contestant #3

1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.

All that wouldn't really matter unless you're physically shaped like Mr Tie-breaker at the bottom. Which in that case, still wouldn't get you the girl. =2

2. High My Name is Dave.

Buy, my name ain't Mary. =1
3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet new people and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.

How would you like to visit a new place right now? It's just half way across the globe. i'm sure you'll like it when you get there. =1

4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especially laughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.

So YOU'RE the one causing all the accidents during morning rush hours! =2
5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.

Now the only problem is, who's gonna start? =3
6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon.

Good. Cos I wouldn't want you to stab your eye or whack your forehead with the wrong utensils. =3

7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDS

Wait, let me guess, their names are Sunkist and California? =2

8. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.
How many times do you want to get thrown from the horse before you realise that you're not supposed to be seated backwards? =2

9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.
Why? You still hungry after finishing all of her? =2

10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight my heart.

Sure. How well do you want it to be? Well-Done? Or Overcooked? =2
TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.
Yeah, it's just a funny shape to be when you're a human. Maybe you would be better as a bowling bowl? =1

Anyhow's Score = 20

Tied with Spinners for 3rd place with 20 points.

Total score with Tie-Breaker = 21

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Contestant #4 < Sunrunner (also known as Ian's wife)

1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.

Maybe if you had the intelligence to go along with the fiscal and spiritual health, you'd be able to put a sentence together. =2

2. High My Name is Dave.

So, are you high? Or did you not pass elementary school? =1

3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet new people and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.

Great. Pretty soon you may actually get out of the state. =3

4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especially laughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.

Are you putting them backwards on your head? That would be something to see. Just don't have too many accidents OK? =1

5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.

You're a puppy? Are you housebroken? =2

6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon.

Good for you. I mean, it must be hard to figure that out when you're given something other than a spork. =3

7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDS

How nice. Can they sing "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" yet? =2

8. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.

I'm sure any woman would love to be compared to a horse. Add that to the looks, and you should have people knocking your door down. Yeah. That's it. =1

9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.

Wow. You must use Aflerd Packer's cookbook. =1

10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight my heart.

Try a Leyden jar, it's a guaranteed spark. =1

TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.

Good. You and Garfield should get along just fine. =2

Richelle's Total Score = 17 (same as Hubby Ian) Great minds......

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Contestant #5 http://sgtdub.blogspot.com

1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.
Good fiscal shape? Pick me up at 8. =2

2. High My Name is Dave.

Puff puff pass, Dave. =1

3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet new people and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.

Either you don’t work that much, or internet surfing has you confused with real life. =1

4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especially laughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.
Apparently after putting on your underwear, you forgot to wear pants too, and you enjoy this? =2

5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.

Let’s start by trying to find this in a dictionary. =1

6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon.

But do you use them at supper time? =1

7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDS ,

No answer from SGT DUB.

8. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.

You been landing on your face or something? =3

9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.

Your name Hannibal by any chance? =1

10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight my heart.
Only you can prevent forest fires. =3

TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.

Rectangle, the shape of an exit. =2

SGT's Total Points = 15

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Silent Contestant #6
1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.
Money and religion? You’re a priest, aren’t you?
2. High My Name is Dave.
Dave’s not here, man.
3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet new people and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.
And there are so many more! Keep going.
4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especially laughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.
I bet it is easier to laugh at you than with you.
5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.
The problem here, moron, is nobody would ever start.
6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon.
That must come in handy when you eat soup.
7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDS.
I heard that through the grapevine, Father Raisin. (Mims- What’s with all the priests today?)
8. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.
It’s not the “heartbroke” part that will scare women away. It is everything else.
9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.
Weren’t you played by Anthony Hopkins?
10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight my heart.
At least you don’t have baggage.
TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.
Get out of my way Charlie Brown.
(Bud's prize is unbloggable. I'd better hush before I have to censor myself.)
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Bond from Bond's Big Leather Couch
1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.
I believe in money also and that it can make life more enjoyable =1
2. High My Name is Dave.
Psssst Daves not here…(if necessary, ask Bud to explain) =2
3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet new people and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.
Did you know there are 95 counties in Tennessee alone? =2
4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especially laughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.Well, I gather you own a convertible and don’t particularly like wearing pants. =1
5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.
Honestly, I would never start, so there are no worries =3
6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon.BUT, do you know the difference between your mother and your sister and a girl you are not related to? =3
7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDS
I loved those little characters singing “Heard it through the grapevine.” =28. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.
So, are we talking Brokeback Mountain here dude? =1
9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.
As opposed to just the bones? =3
10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight my heart.
Here, hold this blowtorch and let me light it =3
TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.
Just like a ball, so bounce away =3
Bond's score = 21 TIED with Belle at 21 for 1st place
Total score with Tie-Breaker = 24
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Belle - a new player! - from Belle Princesse - Welcome!
1. I am very concerned with trying to keep myself in good fiscal and spiritual shape I believe this help in keeping life more enjoyable.I am very concerned with your grammatical shape. The letter "S" is your friend =2
.2. High My Name is Dave.And all the other members of the Typos Anonymous chatroom cheerfully chimed in, "High Dave!" =3
3. I work a lot, but when I am not working I like to travel and meet new people and see new places. So far I have been to about 27 counties.The class, the cultural diversity of 27 counties puts you far, far out of my league. In other news, have you met Dave? =3
4. I enjoy the humor and everyday situations life offers, especially laughing at myself; putting my underwear on backwards only to realize while driving to work as passersby are starring at me.Because they are on backwards and on your head? =2
5. I am very cuddlable, once you start you can't stop.Excuse me, the CEO of Pringles is on the phone for you. Something about suing you for bastardizing their slogan...=2
6. I am a little red neck, but i know the differance between a salad fork and a spoon."A Little Redneck", the unsuccessful spinoff of "Little People, Big World." =2
7. ALOVIN FATHER RAISIN MY KIDSAlovin - The love child of Alvin from "Alvin and the Chipmunks" and one of the California Raisins. =1
8. I am recently heartbroke, but don't let that scare you away. I don't believe in that rebound girl crap. I have always believed when you get thrown from a horse, you get right back on. I am not a prettyboy.No, I would assume any one who was thrown from a horse would have some facial scars. And head trauma, hence the choppy sentence structure and subject jump. =1
9. I need some meat on my woman's bones.And I need a man without a complex that compels them to speak like a caveman, but, hey, life sucks sometimes. =2
10. I lost the spark that I used to have cause I've been burned to many times. Im ready to spark again but just waiting for someone to ignight my heart.Sorry, kid, I only igday, not ignight. =3
TIE-BREAKER: Me, out of shape? Round is a shape.Ladies and gentlemen, the winner for cheesiest self-deprecating pick-up line! =1
Belle's score = 21 Tied for first place with Bond at 21
Total score after Tie-Breaker = 22 for 2nd place her first time up!

Bond from Bond's Big Leather Couch with 24 points!

2nd place= Belle Princesse 22 points

3rd place = Spinners

Congratulations to all!
See ya next week.