April 3, 2007

The Dating Profiles Comeback Challenge Round 21 Winners

Challenge 21 had to be the weirdest bunch of bachelors yet. They were so lame I don't know how you managed to make them funny....but you did. After reading back over the questions I think it was a tough group to answer. Thanks for being patient today. It was crazy!

Blue = 3 points
Purple -= 2 pointsRed = 1 point
Remember that Bud's answers aren't being scored. This doesn't mean they're not funny.
I'm always amazed at his wit.
Just a conflict of interest, shall we say?


1. I am young at hart my body has been through the ringer.
Ian: And sadly, afterward he was hung out to dry, and now he's all
wrinkly and in need of ironing.
Basiorana: Luckily looks aren't very deer to me.Bond: Is that you Corey Hart? What are you doing working in a laundry?Spinnerz: Thanks for the visual...not
Bud: I’m not sure anyone’s going to want your “rung out body”



2. Its hard to put a label on the girl of my dreams but when i meet her
I will knoW, MY MOUTH WILL DRY UP AND I MIGHT HAVE TO THINK TWICE OF WHAT
TO SAY SO IT COMES OUT PERFECT.BYE THE WAY DONT HOLD MY TYPING AGAINST ME IM NOT VERY GOOD AT IT....


Ian: It's Sam Kinnison, speaking (and screaming) from beyond the grave!
Basiorana: YOU SHOULD REALLY SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT THAT DRY MOUTH. DON'T HOLD MY
MOCKERY AGAINST ME, I STOPPED READING WHEN YOU SAID "BYE."
Bond: dOn’t know WhY yOU tHiNK I wouLd hold sOme SiLLy tYping THIng aGAINST yOU.Spinnerz: Apparently you didn't think twice about your profile.
Bud: I can put a label on the girl of your dreams, “idiot”.
Turnbaby: Aw fess up--I bet the girl of your dreams already comes with a UPC code.



3. No game players or pent-up psychotic behavior please.

Ian: Yes, let's have that psychotic behavior out in the open, shall we?Basiorana: I'm all about the overt psychotic behavior.
Bond: Whew, good thing I have learned to just let my psychotic behavior out at all times and that I am a full-fledged member of Monopoly Anonymous
Spinnerz: I'm neither of those...WHY WON'T THOSE VOICES JUST SHUT UPBud: What is this? It is like the warning labels on a pack of smokes. But even LESS effective.
Turnbaby: Oh I never keep my psychotic behavior pent up----the voices would not like that--let's play!



4. i want somebody honest,faithfull,fun,and will stay with me threw the bad as well as the god times

Ian:
Yeah, we've all lost our faith at some point. I'd pray for you, but
some souls are too far gone to save.
Basiorana: This is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse.
Bond: If you throw the Frisbee, I will run and catch it no matter how poorly you do it. Signed Rover.
Spinnerz: John 11:35 Jesus wept.Bud: I think you better find a nun. Not a lot of women love those “god times”.
Turnbaby: Sorry but I threw up during the god times in my last relationship.


5. I am 5'10", blonde, very blue eyes, and devestatingly handsome, or so they say.


Ian: "'Cause I'm a blonde yeah yeah yeah! B...L...O-oh, I don't know!"Basiorana: Seems like being depantsatingly handsome would be more practical. Or
deblouseatingly.
Bond: So, they say. Who exactly are these “they” you speak of? Is this your mother and grandmother? Some random group of strangers you met on the street? The judges of “ America ’s Top Model”? Curious minds want to know.
Spinnerz: Who are they anyway? Last time they said it wouldn't hurt, I had a swollen face for 3 days from a root canal. They lie!Bud: They say that do they? Then, sit down for this, they lie.
Turnbaby: They should be cruel to be kind.


6. I'm driving all night wondering the streets, watching and playing
with people who have nothing better to do than create havoc. Sounds cool but I have better plans for myself than just that.


Ian: Yeah, he's going to sit outside the gas station with his buddies
drinking beer and observing that the great thing about high school
girls is that while he keeps on getting older, they stay the same age. Ladies
and gentlemen: Wooderson
.
Basiorana:Yes, winding up as a juvenile delinquent does not seem to be the best
use of your abilities. Get back to me when you're done wondering what
they are.
Bond: I wonder about streets all the time also. How long have you been a member of The Lost Boys and do you know the Corey’s personally?
Spinnerz: Let me guess, find someone to freeload off while you wonder the streets?
Bud: Who let this child on this site? Guy there is nothing “cool” about you. And I am not shocked you have nothing better to do.
Turnbaby: The streets were wondering back about that havoc and you playing--just sayin'




7. im a fun loving guy who desires laddie with the same. and also would like a lady who is permiscuise. as i need a lot of love.the right ladie will know what i mean


Ian: Okay, it's fine to be bi-curious, but asking for boysex and a
"lady" who likes to give it up is not the best way to get that ever-so-crucial first date.
Basoriana: Pederasty threesomes... That's a bit too much love for me. *violent
shudder
*
Bond:
So, basically you are looking for a three-some with a young boy and a woman who enjoys cruising?
Spinnerz: Stay away from my dogBud: OK, I am baffled. Is this guy gay, want a threesome or just totally nuts? We agree. All of the above, but mostly totally nuts.
Turnbaby: Oh sugar--a laddie and a lady--a threesome and we've only just met?!?!?!



8. To Weird to live, to rare to die
Ian: Oh, there's nothing wrong here. He just needs punctuation! "To
Weird! To live! To rare! To die!". He's a reincarnated bizarre Viking warrior
about to go into battle who likes his veal underdone. Really. Why wouldn't you
want somebody like that?
Basiorana:
You sure about that?
Bond: Ah, now, I think you are perfect to die.
Spinnerz: Too lame to respond!Bud: We all agree with the first part.
Turnbaby: oooo but I like it rare--but not rare AND weird--so sorry (I'm assuming she's talking about steak) Where is that delete button??!! I need to censor myself.



9. My only fault is at times I speak with a forked tong.

Ian: Shut up and get back on the grill, Slappy.Basiorana: I refuse to communicate via silverware. It would never work out.Bond: Damn, and being a huge barbeque fan, I am looking for a man who can wield a masterful tong
Spinnerz: I speak with salad tongs myself, but that's just meBud: Snake man, back in your hole.


10. I'm no chest player, but it's your move.
Ian: Heck, he could be a chest virtuoso and the odds are he'd still be single.Basiorana: Hmm... yes... you don't seem to get a lot of chest play to me, either.
Bond: Here comes the truck, off I go to another state… buh-bye.Spinnerz: Sure I'll play with your chest...."Clear"Bud: Believe it or not, most women like a chest player. Not always on the first date, but eventually.
Turnbaby: *singing* I got legs I know how to move them.


Spinnerz wins with 19 points
Ian is a close second with 18 points
Turnbaby - even censored - came in third with 11 points.
Congratulations and thanks for being patient.

6 comments:

Lizza said...

Congratulations to the winners! Pretty good stuff, as always.

Stay away from my dog! cracked me up.

ian said...

Another second. *sigh* I feel like the mechanical rabbit.

Congratulations, Spinnerz! Great snark!

Ian

Spinner said...

Congrats to all, that one was tough.

Tune in next week...Will Bond reclaim his throne? Will Mimi start including Bud in the scoring? Will somebody "Please" explain the platypus?

Spinner said...

Congrats to everyone, this week was definately a tough one.
I'm looking forward to next week. Will Bond reclaim his throne? Will Mimi start including Bud in the scoring? Will someone PLEASE explain the Platypus.

Tune in to find out

Spinner said...

sorry to post twice, hadn't had my coffe yet

Turnbaby said...

Spinnerz and Ian congrats--way to bring the 'clean' snark. hehehe
as for the 'censored answers?

I am gonna post em

hehehe

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO