March 6, 2007

Comeback Challenge Round 17 WINNER!

Thanks to all who entered this week's competition. Round 17 bachelors raised some eyebrows and left me shaking my head. But you laid down the smack anyway. As always, hysterical!

Turquoise = Funniest = 3 points
Green = 2 points

Yellow = 1 point
Gold = my comments
Now, let's see who tickled my funny bone and won this week. Get ready to laugh...

1. I like to take long walks in the ocean.

SGT DUB: Hello Jesus, I thought the church was your bride, what are you doing on an internet dating site?
Ian: sniff sniff* Do you smell rotten fish? ‘Cause I sure do…
Lyn: Ok, head East and call me when you get to France
Spinnerz: Go ahead, I'll catch up
Frank: Just don't expect me to part it for you.
Anyhow: Look! Even Moses uses online dating.
Turnbaby: Are you Daryll Hannah? Or Jesus? or that Kevin Costner guy?

2. I'm not going to brag or bloat about my accomplishments.

SGT DUB: Three time World Champion Hot Dog Eater, it shows, trust me you shouldn’t brag.
Good, because his ego is already big enough.
Lyn: One of your ancestors must have been a humble puffer fish. (What's a puffer fish?)
Spinnerz: Then why are you still talking?
A blow-hard, water-retaining couch potato should not overstate their feats.
Anyhow: That's funny, cos the last time I checked, you didn't have any.
Turnbaby: That's good---okay --brag--bloat --hmmmm-- I just ate my last brat---whoa where did that come from? teehee

3. Recently Devestated

SGT DUB: I hate it when someone takes my vest and ate it.
And all frocked up too, I expect.
Lyn: I've been devestated since Sunday and have spent the last two days as a wreck. ... I'm devestated and confused and at the moment, my faith now seems so low. ...oh this is about you, huh?
Spinnerz: Ah, finally found that mirror eh?
Don't try the sympathy bit, that's a bowling ball in that bag, not a wrecking ball.
Anyhow: Now you get to rebuild a better self.
Turnbaby: Recently Enlightened---so sorry

4. I moved here from Indiana, spent 20 years there. But everytime I would go on vacation I would end up at the Beach. So I decided to move to one.

So where do you vacation to now?
Ian: That’s nice; you can hang out with the guy from #1 above. Maybe you could get a whole Brokeback Beach thing going…
So now your life's a vacation and you go to Farmland to relax?
Spinnerz: You know what they say..."Life's a Beach then you die" I hear anti-freeze is good for the tan
When you're tanning, the frequent interruptions from Greenpeace doesn't disturb you?
Anyhow: 20 years in Indiana and you don't know there are beaches there?
Turnbaby: It's a good thing I have that 'list' thingy. (ha! said Mims)

5. I like camping and cannoing, those are best when combined on a river some were.

SGT DUB: I’ve tried canoeing on a river once, is that anything like cannoing?
Ian: Right, because camping and cannoing on, say, a busy highway would just be silly. I’m sure you’ve learned that from experience.
I hate camping on the river, I just don't sleep well in a soggy sleeping bag
Spinnerz: Well you do kinda look like a beaver (I don't know why but this made me laugh and laugh.....such a silly moment)
You're absolutely right. You set up the tent and sleeping bags, and I'll meet you in the canoe.
Anyhow: So have you found your lost temple yet Mr Indiana Jones?
Turnbaby: Some were over the rainbow. They were not in cannos.

6. There are guys out there that are beeter looking than me but no one can treat a woman like she deserves beeter than me. So if this tempts anyone drop me a line and see if I bite.

SGT DUB: Beeting and biting, I’m not interested in any S&M fantasies.
Ian: Hey, if you can’t beet ‘em, beat feet.
Lyn: I know this country is supposed to be a melting pot but, Cannibalistic borscht is more than I bargained for and. I'm surely not going to date it..
Spinnerz: There are probably guys who can speel beeter than you too and with that overbite, I'm surprised you haven't swallowed your face.
Frank: Ike, didn't you try this line on Tina once?
Anyhow: You beeter stay away from me, I don't want to explain to mum how i got these bite marks on me.
Turnbaby: *dissolving in a giggle fit*) I'll wear the shirt but (*omg snarf*) shouldn't it be "see if I beet?" (Omg buwhahahahahahahahahahaha) (can't get my breath) (Turn! Get a hold of yourself or we'll all be 'dissolving into giggle fits. Actually, I could think of worse things...)

7. I can do anything.(there's nothing you can do that can't be done)

SGT DUB: Can you find the exit?
Wasn’t this a song in Annie Get Your Gun? You can do anything? Write a better line, ya MOWron!
Lyn: Alrighty then, here is my list...stop the war and bring our boys home, do something about the poverty in this country, cure aids, invent a water powered car engine, stop global warming, do those and then we'll talk.
Spinnerz: Bet you can't grab a propeller of a plane in flight
Frank: I'm a magician, so how's your disappearing act?
Anyhow: Great. Can you make yourself disappear? Forever?
Turnbaby: But of course!

8. My favorite thing to watch on TV is Competitive Cat Grooming.

SGT DUB: Uck, I’m sorry, must have been a hair ball or something. (YUK!)
Ian: …Followed by the crowd pleasing Competitive Hairball Catching (but that’s only on Spike TV). (Guys! Please!)
Wow your a real live one ain't you.
Spinnerz: I can lick my eyebrows (Short, sweet, and silly)
Why do I have this urge to cough up a hair ball? (Double YUK!)
Anyhow: Why? Don't you already know how to groom yourself?
Turnbaby: Turn - This is Mimi......That answer was hysterical but unbloggable. Ha! You'll have to ask her for the real "scoop" - I just crack myself up sometimes.

9. Be for I start let me make something clear. If you are one of these fake pepole known to be on these personal sights, Then you can stop here. Don't want are need any B.S. So don't wast my time.

I’ve never been known to be a pe-pole, fake or real, and my personal sights can be found under spell check.
Ian: Anothere proude producte of Americane publice schoolse. Dan Quayle would be so proud if he were still with us today. Oh, wait, he’s not dead?
That was so unclear...Whats a peo pole? You want are need, what is that and the BS thing?....Beet sugar?
Spinnerz: Like you haven't just wasted mine?

Note: Above space is my comeback line. I didn't want to wast anymore of his time. You know us fake pepoles, just making it clear enough for him. Darn, Shoo puppy! Go find a real pepole.)
I doubt even can solve his problems.
Turnbaby: Yuh U sawed thru me . eye M exposed .I M a fake pepole that sumhow got ur websight sory 2 wast ur tyme

10. I am a good man who has slipped between the cracks of the New World

SGT DUB: Now we just need to wipe. (Sarge!!)
Just ignore that funny gutter slime smell. It’s organic.
Lyn: Wow you should have stayed away from those cracks..think of your poor momma.
Spinnerz: Ha Ha ...enough with the "Your mama's so fat" jokes. Oh, you weren't kidding
Just what I need, another Renaissance man.
Anyhow: How deep did you fall before you realised you had been lying to yourself all this while? (Ha!)
Turnbaby: Oh my--that's a lot of cracks sugar.

Congratulations! Another great week of Bland Up Comedy.
1st place - Spinnerz with 17 points
2nd place - Anyhow with 11 points
  • 3rd place - Ian with 9 points


Turnbaby said...

LOLOL Congrats Spinnerz!!

I KNEW that one wouldn't make it--hehehe. Well I 'tried' to keep it um--errr--clean *snarf*

ian said...

Woohoo - placed again! Congratulations, Spinnerz!!

*placing nose firmly back against the grindstone*


Mimi Lenox said...

Turn - But it was funny.

Mimi Lenox said...

Ian - You're a funny guy.

Mimi Lenox said...

Congratulations to all!

Turnbaby said...

Come see my comments section on tuesday's post *snarf*

SGT DUB said...

great job, those were great comebacks. I placed in the top ten wooo hoooo!