Blue = Funniest = 3 points
Green = 2 points
Yellow = 1 point
NOTE: All bachelor questions this week did not receive three colors from me.
Which of these 7 contestants will tickle my funny bone? Welcome first-time participate Enid, from Third-Person Singular.
Spinner
from My Life As I Think I Know ItThe lovely Wendz
from France who authors A Baguette On My Table
American Novelist Ian Healy from EDog's Everything Page
Empress Bee of the High Sea
That fiesty lady from West Palm Beach, Florida.
Epiphany Alone from New Jersey. Mother, student and blogger extraordaire.
Anyhow from AnyhowBlogs is trying again this week to up his ranking in the finals. Good luck, Anyhow!
Round Sixteen Answers
1. Looking to fine someone.
Ian: But judge me not, lest ye be judged by me as well.
Empress Bee: Me too baby, i fine you soooo yammy.
Enid: Me too - that's why I'm putting this ticket under your windscreenwipers
Spinner: Here's $5, now go away
Wendz: Dear Traffic Cop Wannabee... join your local highway patrol and satisfy that uuuurrrge....
Epiphany: Lovely Rita, Meter Maid.
Anyhow: How many more do you need to hit your quota this month?
2. I'm looking for someone to be my solemate.
Ian: He hates being the only heel trudging through the gutter.
Empress Bee: Do you like my shoes?'
Enid: Sorry, I don't believe in Cod.
Spinner: What are you...a crossdresser?
Wendz: You lost a sole? May I recommend using clean socks every day and a shoe freshener, before you lose the other sole?
Epiphany: Try Dr Scholls...
Anyhow: I heard Hush Puppy shoes have extremely flexible soles. And their cheap too.
3. Intlelgent but lots of fun
Ian: It’s Dan Quayle on the singles circuit!
Empress Bee: well frankly i'm pretty intlelgent too, but it doesn't show unless i weat my high heels, you know? And i only weat them on Thursdays. Do you weat heels too?
Enid: I have a hi eye q two. We can gigle over dictionerries all nite.
Spinner: Stupid is...stupid does
Wendz: So did you laugh merrily when you never won a spelling bee? Hmmm?
Epiphany: Smart like rock!
Anyhow: Can you spell{ , } interlectually retarded? I'm sorry you haven't found the wonders of puncuation.
4. Likes to whine and dine by a roarring fire.
Ian: "Honeyyyyy I can’t hear youuuuu! The stupid fire’s too louuuuuud! I’m hungryyyyy.”
Empress Bee:I like to whine about lots of stuff too but i'd rather dine inside. Do you have a match? or are you just looking for one?
Enid: Just like my ex. Only fires and dining were optional.
Spinner: When my dogs whine, I usually make them go outside
Wendz: I see your chances of dining with me whining...sorry I meant winding....up in smoke
Epiphany: "Steak and potatoes again?"
Anyhow: I'm sorry, crybabies just ain't my cup of tea.
5. I try to disguise my inner nerd.
Ian: But in the end, an armpit by any other name is still an armpit.
Empress Bee: But honey now your inner turd is showing. but just a little, i don't think anyone else will notice.
Enid: Then don't buy the costumes at a charity shop.
Spinner: You haven't succeeded
Wendz: Bill Gates has his billions to hide behind. What do you have? A red cape and a blue bodysuit with a sagging crotch?
Epiphany: The Groucho nose and glasses really help.
Anyhow: Obviously you've failed horribly.
6. Do You Like Cookies?
Ian: Not enough to lower my firewall for you.
Empress Bee: no but i like cooks, do you know how? i'm a little hungary
Enid: Yes. Do you like to beaten with a rolled up copy of the Financial
Times?
Spinner: I usually clear them off my computer
Wendz: What? You want to invade my PC? I'll set my anti-spyware on you, Spam Man!
Epiphany: No. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Anyhow: No. But if you're asking as a comparision, yes I rather take the cookies over you anytime.
7. Ride a Harley and Wear a Black Tie
Ian: He probably also has a K-car somewhere with a coffee-can exhaust tip.
Empress Bee: Is that all? bet you get cold. Do you have shrinkage then?
Enid: Pick me up in casualty. I got those two the wrong way round.
Spinner: My name is Harley and I have plenty of ties...heh heh heh
Wendz: I rather prefer the old 'I'll be the one with the rose between her teeth' method of identification....
Epiphany: Ride in an Ambulance and Wear a Straight Jacket.
Anyhow: If that can get me away from you, I will.
8. I'm not Looking for Someone Like Me
Ian: Because he’s a dipstick with ugly feet and a big mole.
Empress Bee: ohhh that's good! cause you found it!
Enid: You're looking for someone who has a clue about written English, then?
Spinner: Nor is anybody else
Wendz: You're that bad, huh. Shame. Must be soul-destroying to look in the mirror every morning.
Epiphany: I wouldn't join a group that would have me as a member, either.
Anyhow: I'm Not Looking For Someone Like You Either.
9. I stink at talking about me. But then I can babble all day!
Ian: This is what happens when somebody talks out their @$$ too much.
Empress Bee: Like a bobble head doll? they stink too.
Enid: Have you tried Lomotil?
Spinner: Others babble about how much you stink
Wendz: Shut up already! I can smell you from here!
Epiphany: Wow. I am looking forward to awkward silence followed by incessant chatter
Anyhow: Please stop, I can smell you from here already. STOP... NO... ARGH!!!! *faints*
10. I'm looking for a patient woman with a great sense of humor that isn't scared to get close to me or my children.
Ian: Wanna be my baby-momma?
Empress Bee: How close do i have to get? cause i',m scared of childern close or far. as a matter of fact, you scare me too.
Enid: Try ward 10.
Spinner: Well maybe if you bathed once in awhile and stopped biting your toenails, your request might come a little easier
Wendz: Darlin'.....Julie Andrews is not available these days...try your local convent.
Epiphany: Oh, I see, when you said, "I'm falling to pieces" what you meant was "I'm aleper, you're a leper, he's a leper, she's a leper, wouldn't you like to be aleper too"?
Anyhow: Why? Should we? Don't tell me you have some sort of contagious disease that runs in the family.
Congratulations to Ian Healy from EDOG's Everything Page! Champ for a second time with 15 points.
2nd place: Epiphany Alone with 13 points. The girl is just funny.
3rd place: Spinnner - 8 points!
Hope to see you next week for Round 17 of the Big Challenge.
I'll be on the prowl for wayward bachelors.....well, you know what I mean.
2 comments:
Too funny
As usual i was otherwise occupied on Monday. I'll play next week though
Congrats to EDog!!
Thanks, Mimi! Go, me! This is what happens when I get writer's block.
Well done, Epiphany and Spinner!
Ian
PS: I'm tickled that you called me an American Novelist - it makes me sound so legit!
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