January 9, 2007

And the winner of The Dating Profiles Saturday Comeback Challenge is......Round NINE

WHEW! What a competition! With NINETEEN entries to read and process through the funny bone, I've been laughing all day. What a cast of characters! The entries were fantastic and this week's decision was not easy. I hope you had as much fun answering as I did judging. Do come back and entertain us again next week.

Readers......get ready to laugh. There are some serious blog comedians in the house.
Here's how it works. If you tickle my funny bone, you get points. Isn't that sophisticated?

Your answers were incredibly funny this week, but there can be only one Saturday Comeback Challenge winner. Here are the questions and each individual contestant's answer. The contestant with the most tickles this week is...........Now, let's declare a winner! Good luck!

Let's Meet The Contestants first.......

Bond ~ The Big Leather Couch - From New York To Memphis
Daniel Thompson ~ The Profile Directory ~ Microtonal composer and blog wiz from St. Paul, Minnesota
Dr. Blogstein ~ ~ Check out The Best of Blogstein
Sanni ~ Germany ~ Coffee2Go

Tisha ~ Arkansas, USA ~ Crazy Working Mom

Epiphany ~ Abandon Hope All Who Enter Here ~ New Jersey (former 3 x champ in this competition)
Matt-Man ~ Bagwine Ruminations ~ Ohio

SWF41 ~ Swimming In the Dating Pool ~ Midwest ~

Starrlight ~ Here Comes a Storm In the Form of a Girl ~ Oregon

SGT DUB ~ Kabul, Afghanistan ~ Oklahoma National Guard
Frank Sirianni ~ ~ Canada ~ Honk 'n Hollr/Grafitti My Blog fame ~ Keeper of the Peace Globes

Michael: The Wonderful World of Nothing ~ California

Ian ~ Edog's Everythings Page ~Colorado ~ Talented writer and webcomic genius (and fierce NaNoWriMo competitor)

Alicia (*ANGELDUST) ~Artist from British Columbia, Canada

Linda ~ Are We There Yet?? Aka SuperMom ~ Connecticut

Dr. Anonymous ~ The Official Unofficial Site of Bloggers Anonymous and up for major medical award soon!

Lyn from Last Minute Lyn's Life ~ Maryland

Bud Weiser 3 x Champ of this very competition

Jenifer aka Dispatch Mom from Everybody Loves Raymond (well some maybe) and a newcomer to the competition. Isn't she cute? OK People! Cut the trash talk. There are children present.

Let the games begin......

1. I am very much involved in mid evil re-enactment's, no not the renaissance. I like playing my guitar, writing my own music,and singing.

Bond: All of my re-enactments are of the totally evil size where we burn guitars and sing to satan.

Daniel: I don't think this can work. I prefer renaissance re-enactments.
Sanni:Keep it up! At home! Quiet! And please don´t overact – never throw your droppings out of your window!
Tisha: Did you mean Medieval? Or did you just mean that you like music that is pretty evil, but not really evil?
Epiphany: Cape, tights, and a guitar. It's Gene Simmons!
SWF: Sorry, I don't date Republicans. (now that was cold) Funny, but cold. 
Starrlight: "Mid Evil" as opposed to what, Top Evil? Bottom Evil? And just what actions would you reinact via "Mid Evil"ness? Frankly I find it hard to really rip this poor shmuck apart. You know he is some sad little man, living with Mom and spending too much time playing online games like Everquest. Hey, wait, I think I DID date him..... 
Dr. Blogstein: Don't tell me...you also enjoy lonesome nights, having no friends and being laughed at, right?
Matt-Man: No answer
SGT DUB: I’m into upper evil enactments myself, the whole sacrificing virgins stuff, and using a pair of femoral bones for drum sticks.
Frank: And I bet you know the 'lyrics' to Michael Olfield's Tubular Bells
Michael: 1- When I said I was looking for a knight in shining armor, I was just kidding.

2- I prefer not to have to joust on a first date. It tends to wrinkle my clothing.

Ian: Hey, ladies, apparently Ronnie James Dio is single again!
Angeldust: You little devil you!
Linda: Sounds more like pure evil to me!
Dr. Anonymous: I'm more into supernatural reenactments. I like to meditate, conduct a seance, and watch Ghostbusters all at the same time.
Lyn: I have a feeling your singing songwriting is not just mid evil, but fully evil
Bud:  While I am not surprised that you are not a renaissance type of guy, I think you need a shrink , not a date.
Jenifer: Oh phew, at least you not beginning evil, or end evil, mid evil is "just right". Did I mention I like to dress like Goldilocks

3. I know that I am looking for the imposable but I am not giving up hope.

Bond: Anyone can be posed if given the right direction, so don’t give up hope.

Daniel: A lot of people consider me to be impossible.
Sanni: I´m coming at your rescue: Go and visit amazon.com! They own so many dictionaries they have to SELL them!
Tisha: I'm not giving up hope that you'll figure out how to use spell check!
Epiphany: Good luck with that.
SWF: Don't give up! I'm sure you'll find a double-jointed girl out there somewhere.
Starrlight: It could have been worse. He could have been looking for the "impassable." Like Gas.
Dr. Blogstein: Great. But why'd you give up spell check?
Matt-Man: You shouldn’t give up hope. I am a former hand and knee model, but the effects of arthritis and chronic joint pain have made me very imposable. Your wish has come true. Call Me !! 
SGT DUB: Yes, I like the old Barbie too, these new ones with the moving joints are eerie.
 Frank: Just what I need, another rigid Gumby
Michael: Then you're in luck. I've been accused of being stiff and I won't let anyone tell me what to do or how to move!!
2- Then may I suggest the city morgue?
Ian: See, the problem with most inflatable love dolls is that their joints are stiff. Obviously he's looking for a higher grade of mannikin
Angeldust: That’s the spirit darling! That is what makes America great.
Linda:You really have to stop hanging around those yoga classes.
Dr. Anonymous: Oh yeah, well, I'm looking to lose weight but I'm not giving up the pork grinds!
Lyn: Maybe you should stop looking at jellyfish and try mannequins, fully pose-able ones.
Bud:  You will not give up hope that you can find someone that you can on which you can impose your will. Got it. Good luck with that.
Jenifer: I saw a really cute mannequin down at Macy's the other day. I think I could hook you up. She's not as much of a "stiff" as most of her friends.

4. Should I describe myself like a car?? P.W. P.S. fully loaded, low mileage, good interior and no junk in the trunk.

 Bond: Should I view you like a mechanic? The odometer has been turned back, there is rust hidden everywhere and the interior is shot to hell. And I would have to be loaded to date you.
 Daniel: I don't know. What's your exhaust system like?
Sanni: Should I describe you by using some lyrics of “Cypress Hill”: Insane in the membrane…?
Tisha: You didn't describe the exterrior. I'm seeing an old volvo and was hoping for a Wrangler.
Epiphany: No, please don't. And please, let's never again talk about your trunk.
 SWF: But do you come with one of those tree-shaped air fresheners?
Starrlight: PW = I am in bed by 9pm every night.
PS= One word, Mamaboy.
Fully Loaded = I have a ton of baggage. Mama packed most of it.Interior = Nice guy in the saddest most whipped sense of the word. 
No Junk in The Trunk = No Buttless Chaps in this persons future.
Dr. Blogstein: To answer your question: "No. You should never describe yourself as a car."
Matt-Man: No answer
SGT DUB: sounds like a lemon to me 
Frank: You forgot USED
Michael: Sounds great. I'll tell ya what, I'll take your number....and when I know someone looking for a car, I'll make sure they call you
Ian: Prick With Pull String? He must have been fully loaded when he wrote this.
Angeldust: Broom, broom – hand me a broom, somebody!?
Linda: might buy that low mileage line if I were fully loaded!
Dr. Anonymous: I describe myself like a truck: two-tone exterior, dull interior, overworked, and needing a tune-up
Lyn: low mileage, good interior and no junk in the trunk. Let me call Carfax.
Bud Weiser: Dear "PW" (in the whipped sense, I assume), the answer to the question is NO. Read your "P.S." again to understand why.
Jenifer: I'm assuming not much junk under the hood either.

4. "These bedroom eyes will put you in the mood"

Bond: Oh that is tantalizing, now can you put them back in the jar on the shelf?
 Daniel: In the mood for what?
Sanni: No need to. I´m going to take a nap anyway =)
Tisha: That's code for, you'd better get really drunk and turn out the lights!
Epiphany: Would you put them back in your head? That's creeping me out!
SWF: No answer
Starrlight: To puke on your shoes.
Dr. Blogstein: But your kitchen ass just took me out of that mood.
Matt-Man: No answer
SGT DUB: These chain saw hands are ready.
Frank: Yawn!! You're right. 
Michael: Is that why I feel so tired all of a sudden?
Ian: Of course, not all moods are good. The mood to kick his hiney out the door seems most likely.
Angeldust: Perfect, I need a good sleep.Linda: Yeah, the mood to run screaming from the room!
Dr. Anonymous: This bedroom body will make you nauseated.
Lyn: In the mood for what? I'm thinking Arby's.
Bud:  They already have. To run far, far away.
Jenifer: For some Valium and a bottle of tequila.

5. I believe that people should be them self and something they are not.

Bond: We will get along great I am a Gemini and I am always one self and something else.
Daniel: At the same time?
Sanni: You mean you believe in yourself being a muppet who will never be part of THE MUPPET SHOW? I agree…
Tisha: Me too...I actually take medicine for it!
Epiphany: Ok. On our first date, I will be me. On our second date, I will be a lamppost. Then you'll get to pick which "me" gets voted off the island...Hey, Ithink I've got a pitch for a new reality show! 
SWF: Good to know you're flexible.
Starrlight: So is this person a multi- tasker or a multiple personality?
Dr. Blogstein: I am all of that and more
Matt-Man: Being that I am funny, sexy, and diagnosed as a schizophrenic, I think we would make a great pair. Or maybe not, but probably…who knows?
SGT DUB: I understand what you are saying and I’m confused.
Frank: If you want to be like them--go for it, but for self, me and I are just fine. Id said so.
Michael: Wow, way to go out on a limb there. Do you ever have trouble taking sides?
Ian: Like intelligent? 
Angeldust: Look no more. My split personality is all yous need.
Linda:. I believe that people should be them self and something they are not
Dr. Anonymous: Don't forget to watch the premiere of the Apprentice this week on NBC.
Lyn:I'll play: I'm sarcastic and sincere, I'm short and tall, I'm fit and fat, I can do this all night 
Bud : I believe that people should be somebody else. Oh and Mr. Scarecrow? You still need that brain.
Jenifer: Which personality is it that doesn't believe in punctuation?

6. Look if your looking for FLASH in the PAN hit the road its not ME! I'm REAL and I don't write things to IMPRESS anyone.

Bond: Well, we can both be happy since nothing you wrote impressed me.
 Daniel: But you're bragging about being real.
Sanni: YAY! Nice to meet you – the first washed-up wanna-be rapper I´ve ever met!
Tisha: But are you a FLASH in the SACK?
Epiphany: Nope. But you're sure a whiz with cliches!
SWF: No answer
Starrlight: Having read that, I think it is a safe bet this person's writing skills will not be IMPRESSING anyone, anytime soon. 
Dr. Blogstein: I think WE are soul MATES as I have the SAME all caps problem that YOU do. 
Matt-Man: No answer
SGT DUB: Look if your looking for a RING on the HAND than I better get the FLASH
Frank: Great zooks Batman! Flash is in the Pan again.We must hurry Robin, to the Batmoblile.
Michael: I guess that's why you feel the necessity to 
 CAPITALIZE in order to EMPHASIZE. Do you use those sexy 'air-quotes' too?
Ian: No. No, you most certainly don't.
Alicia: Dear "Real Flash in the Pan":
Congratulations. You have succeeded not impressing anyone. 

 Linda: That not impressing people thing seems to be working very well for you! 
Dr. Anonymous: Don't forget to watch the premiere of American Idol this week on Fox. (Doc! Wake up! We're in a competition here......)
Lyn: I'm REAL and I don't write things to IMPRESS anyone. Well thats good, I wasn't IMPRESSED
Bud : I think we can all agree what you write could not impress anyone.Jenifer: Obviously.

7. I'm the last of a dieing bread.

Bond: So sad when all that is left is the end piece no one wants.

Daniel: Did you mean dieting bread?
Sanni: Just do it! Don´t forget to inform the bakery corner shop about your passing – and pleeeeease do me a personal favour: Have a look at #2´s brandnew dictionary before you take HIM with you!
Tisha: Thank GOD!
Epiphany: Rye or pumpernickel?
SWF: Where would you like the flowers sent?
Starrlight: How appetizing! I am just dieing to go out to dinner with this guy...
Dr. Blogstein: No thanks. I was looking for a no-carb date.
Matt-Man: I am a crusty but lovable guy who just adores white or dark rye. Let my love be the yeast that PUMPS YOU UP !! Let's get together and make a sandwich!! 
SGT DUB: Hope you feel better and rise soon. 
Frank: You're not trying to butter me up are you?
 Michael: Well then you must be sourdough, because you smell awful!
Ian: Thank God for that...this subhuman is nearly extinct! It just goes to prove that Darwin was right 
Angeldust: Yippie - Let me help along…
Linda: You have to use the yeast before the expiration date!
Dr. Anonymous: In auto news this week, General Motors is teaming up with Jay-Z for a stylishly new sports utility vehicle (Stay with us just a while longer, Doc....The competition will be over soon.)
Lyn: I have given up carbs, sorry
Bud : I'm guessing matzah. No rise in either of you, eh?

8. Be the flower in my vase.

Bond: This is just so scary, I am not sure I can even respond.
Daniel: You're not a mad botanist are you?
Sanni: You, Sir, have chosen the wrong category. If you want anybody to “stick a flower into your vase” go and visit the “I am a man seeking a man”-section!
Tisha: How 'bout the nip in your bud! 
Epiphany: I'd rather be a bee in your bonnet.
SWF:Only if you wrap your thorn.
Starrlight: It could be worse. They could have asked you to be the pig in their blanket
Dr. Blogstein: Be the temporary tattoo in my box of Frosted Flakes

Matt-Man: No answer

SGT DUB: so I can look good for a week and then get thrown out?
Frank: And a rose by any other name would still leave.

Michael: Only if you promise not to be the thorn in my side.
Ian: Are you sure you're not looking for the wiener in your buns instead?

Angeldust: So, you be out of my space
Linda: Not if you were the last blooming idiot alive!

Dr. Anonymous: Don't mind the other flowers. Welcome to the Playboy mansion, I'm Hef. 

Lyn: No answer
Bud : Be the key to your door. Be the cream cheese to your bagel. Be the…

Jenifer: Sorry, I'm not into the controlling type.

9. Don't Fry Bacon Naked. Been There.
Bond: Always look before you leap. Always look both ways before crossing the street. Never been anywhere. OK, your turn.
Daniel: The bacon I fry is always naked. How else would you do it? 
Sanni: And don´t feast on asphalt! Seen that!
Tisha: Whew! Glad I wasn't!!
Epiphany: Youch. Please don't tell me where the neighbor's dog bit you. Okay?
SWF: No answer
Starrlight:Is this code for some kinky sex act? A subtle hint that this person will not be cooking the dinners? An admission of a horrible disfigurement? What is the purpose of this?
Dr. Blogstein: Bacon, huh? Wanna strip? 
Matt-Man: No answer
SGT DUB: uh, ok, I won’t be there
Frank: Nope, only make bacon naked.
Michael: Why again are you single? 
Ian: And Have The Horrible Burn Scars To Prove It.
Angeldust: I admire resourceful, intelligent men…
Linda: And I bet that just fried your ass...ets, didn't it?
Dr. Anonymous: Bacon leaves nasty burns. At least wear an apron while cooking.
Lyn: No answer
Bud : Stay there.Jenifer: Oh I'm sorry, I just assumed all those marks were acne scars

10. To thine on self be true.
Bond:To all others be false. 
Daniel: Well, it's a start.

Sanni: (WTF?! Is this a miserable attempt to quote Shakespeare?!) Fairwell, my friend - go stap yourself - my blessing season this in thee!
Tisha: I'm hearing dueling banjos!
Epiphany: Should I lie to my off self? 
SWF: No answer
Starrlight: Feel free to lie to thine Off Self.
Dr. Blogstein: Yes, I will have sex with you.
Matt-Man: No answer
SGT DUB: yes, two’s company, threes a crowd.
Frank: To bee or not to bee-line? There is no question here.
 Michael: Is that physically or even metaphorically possible?
Ian: Thou pratest like an ass and a fool (This just made me giggle. So silly.,)
Angeldust: HáH?
Linda: I think you're a little off there, fella.
Dr. Anonymous: Huh? Can you like translate that into English, dude? By the way, like where's my car? (There he goes again......)Lyn: No answer
Bud : Good point. To your own self be gone.Jenifer: Oh honey, if I'm ever "on" your "self" I'm pretty sure you'll want me to lie.

Bond (The Couch) with 10 points for 2nd place ~

Bud with 9 points for 3rd place


Michael C said...

Wow! Great answers. It'll take me weeks for my rear to heal from the spanking I just received! Great job everyone!!!

Thanks for he invite Mimi!

Dr. A said...

Congrats to all! Funny stuff.

Linda said...

My God but we're all just a bunch of sarcastic smart asses, aren't we???

Congrats to the winner but don't rest on your laurels for too long - I know I didn't get the chance to!

Like Ahnold - "Ah'll be bach" next week!

Turnbaby said...

Congrats to all (Woooooooooooo Bond) and here's hoping I can talk Miss Insomnia into a slow dance so I can participate. So much fun!

Sanni said...

Bwaahaaaa! Can´t stop laughing =)))
Congrats to all!

Matt-Man said...

Nice work Mimi...And now I know to answer ALL of the questions. Thanks for the forum...Cheers

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...


Linda's talking smack already. She better watch out. It could get rough...

Mimi Lenox said...

Michael - Your answers were good. I do hope we keep the competition going strong. Glad to have you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Thanks, Doctor A. Please come back with your funniness anytime.

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - I would tend to agree with your assessment. But what innocent fun. Bring it on.

Mimi Lenox said...

WAKE UP TURN! I'm sorry you fell asleep and missed the deadline. If you like, I'll give you a wakeup call next week.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sanni and Matt - Hope to see you here again. You are great competitors.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - I think Linda used to work in the police force. This could really get nasty if she brings out the mace and handcuffs.

Linda said...

Now, now, I wasn't talking smack already! I was merely saying that I would be back to try it again rather than tuck my tail between my legs and slink off with my one win!

Honestly - this competition is tough stuff but I enjoy the challenge.

And for the record, I'll leave the mace at home but I can't guarantee that I wouldn't bring the tazer!

Starrlight said...

Those were great! Thanks for asking me to participate =)

SGT DUB said...

Well, tough competition indeed, but great answers, the dieing bread was my favorite as everyone did a good job. Dr. A was funny in just going off somewhere else. I hope to be invited back. this was fun. congrats to the winners.

Tisha said...

Very funny stuff!

Fun competition you're doing. : )

Great job, everyone.

Desert Songbird said...

Too dang funny! I always knew that Bond was great at the zingers, but Sanni -- you surprised me! I always thought you were so sweet and kind....bwahahahahaha!

Matt-man, me darlin' - hit 'em with your top shelf stuff next time, and you'll win, guaranteed.

SgtDub -- you're wicked sense of humor showing again!