The Dating Profiles Comeback Challenge (Round 6)

The Rules:

1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. Write a comedic response to any or all of these. The more you can answer, the better your chance of winning.
2. You have until midnight Monday to send in your answers.
3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I won't post inappropriate or sexually explicit responses.
Subtle is good! Otherwise, I get unwanted attention from sites I'd rather not attract. Just look through previous competitions if you're not sure where/how to cross the line. Say what you want to say - just find a way to leave out certain words.
4. Send your responses to me via email, NOT through the comment function. That way, no one sees the answers until all have finished creating a comeback. This makes for a better competition and full of surprises too!
5. I will announce the winner in Tuesday's post. You will get a link back to your site and a permanent place in my sidebar as a former winner....and untold Fame and Glory. GOOD LUCK!

Here are this week's challenging profile snippets and headlines:

#1 Looking For a Friend With Benefits

#2 Smart Like Forrest

#3 So for those of you still reading, I'll stop before this bores you#4 Are you tired of the Players, Liars and Cheats? You won't find that here. Just the real thing.

# 5 Nothing aggravates me more than women who put their "make-up" on before I even awake from bed in the morning

#6 Have You Hugged a Clown Lately?

#7 Looking for Friends Maybe More

#8 If you want to be treated like a lady im your man.

#9 U and Me Goin Fishin In the Dark

#10 I Am Lost For Words