August 23, 2006

Bachelor #32 Frankly, my dear.......

I must say this headline got my attention.
"I see myself like Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind," he begins.
His favorite restaurant is Scooters Ice Cream and a nice outing would involve Super Walmart.

Dapper, for sure.

Except for that seductively delicious one-line melter from the lips of Clark Gable (one of several), I can think of very few men who've impressed me more with their wooing words of wisdom than this gentleman. And very few men who've left me more baffled. I can't make head nor tails of this logic! I've ask Miss O'Hara to help me. You may find it difficult to tell Rhett from Romeo, Scarlett from Mimi.

Same battle of semantics in the antebellum South. She's muttering about "the kindness of strangers" ..... she HAS been to Walmart! - no...wait......that was Blanch DuBois.... and he's going on and on about "shrinkin' from marrying men she don't love" - now that's a catchy phrase - and needing to kiss her for her own good simply because he knows how......and....Doesn't that sound like first date conversation to you?
("Another dance and my reputation will be gone forever." Hush, Scarlett.
"I can't go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands! Sometimes I fill my car up with gas and ride all night long with no where in particular to go."
("I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.")

And where, pray tell, would they go? Now I ask you, does she look like she's dressed for a night on the town? She's wearing a lopsided potato sack for heaven's sake.

Rolling his eyes, he continues....."I don't care for one sided relationships or waiting in long lines to eat. When in a relationship that is special I always ask myself this question about that person. Can I live with the heart when the beauty has faded?"(Dear Lord! Scarlett needs a makeover.)
With an insightful understanding of his lady love's lack of food and a definite flair for the dramatic, he writes,
"The past doesn't make the present any better."

"Some bridges need burning down."

Fiddle-dee-dee ..Burning is the only similarity to Gone With the Wind I see.
("Well I guess I've done murder. Well I won't think about this now. I'll think about it tomorrow.")
I do not have the courage, Rhettomeo, to do without a reputation. I simply cannot go on an ice cream date with you. "As God as my witness. As God as my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over I'll never be hungry again nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill as God as my witness I'll never be hungry again."Thank you, Scarlett. I couldn't have said it better myself.

I realize there is no rhyme or reason to this post; but that's the rhyme and reason. At least my regurgitated text is deliberately skewed. Romeo is starting to impress me. Quite frankly, it's hard to be this damn confusing.

I've gained a new respect for manspeak.

"You helpless? Heaven help the Yankees if they catch you." (STANLEY??!! Is that you??!) Look Romerhett, I don't need your help with the enemy.

"Take a good look my dear. It's a historical moment. You can tell your grandchildren how you watched the Old South disappear one night."
I'm going into the parlor with the men folk. All they ever talk about is
"War, war, war! This war talk's spoiling all the fun at every party this spring. I get so bored I could scream!"

Women are so much wiser than men.

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