The Dating Profiles Comeback Challenge (Round 19) Opening Lines and Ian Lays Down the Smack

First impressions are everything or so I've heard. Believe it or not, this week's Comeback Challenge questions are all headlines or opening sentences.
Gingerly open the door.

Shallow was never this deep.

The Rules

1. I've posted ten headlines and/or essay snippets below. Spelling errors are from original profiles and not my own. Write a comedic response to any or all of these. The more you can answer, the better your chance of winning.

2. You have until 11:59 pm MONDAY EDT to send in your answers via email. Type "Saturday Comeback Challenge" in the subject line and include the name and url of your blog.

3. I try to keep this as family-friendly as possible without sacrificing humor. I won't post inappropriate or sexually explicit responses. Subtle is good!

4. I will announce the winner in Tuesday's post. You will get a link back to your site, a permanent place in my sidebar, and a winner's badge for your website -plus untold fame and glory! (Mostly untold)


NOW, ABOUT THAT IAN GUY. In case you missed the comment he left after winning last week's challenge, here it is. I think I've created a monster.
He wrote: Hey...That's three, youse guys. I'm gonna start talking real smack pretty soon if you all don't step up and bring it. Come on, you gonna take this from me? Who got game? It hurts, lemme tell ya, it hurts being this good.Now if that doesn't get somebody's comeback challenge going...Show me the love! Show me your "A" game!IanDon't you wish you were me? :DRound 18: 1stRound 17: 3rdRound 16: 1stRound 14: 3rd (tie)Round 13: 1st
And then along comes mild-mannered Turnbaby from And As the World Turns with this: AHA--it was Ian who conspired with Delta and the Atlanta airport to keep me out of the competition this week.Game on!!!
Here we go......... Good luck! Be gentle. And please people, stop the violence. We're in the land of the Peace Globes ya know.

Door #1:
1. I can cook myself pretty well. I like new experiences and will try anything once.


2. Looks Ant Every Thing




3. I want to be truely in LOVE. Been like a dog chasing a bus, except I know what to do when I catch it.
(NOTE: How shall I say this delicately? This guy posted a picture of himself -and his dog - in the bathtub covered with bubbles. You're right. There was no way to say that delicately.)


4. I have NO, NONE, ZERO internal filter. Much to the horror of those around me if I think it I say it.... I am that guy that will spew non-stop garbage from my mouth just to see how far I can go before people realize I'm insulting them to their face. For some reason some people think I'm an arrogant s*@t.... That's so not true!

5. My main goals in life are to built a house, have a son and plant a tree



6 The match comes down to weather I find you attractive. For me, that attraction starts with physical looks. Yeah, yeah that makes me a shallow bastard I know but looks are high on my list.

7. Catch Your Eyes?

8. I think of myself as intelligent, and am looking for a smart woman. My motto is, you can't think of everything. But you should try. (NOTE: This was his entire profile)
9. Lets see. I have arms and legs, 10 fingers and 10 toes. I want the same thing every other guy wants, but I typically go about different ways of getting it. I like to think I'm clever, but I'm not sure how well that is working out for me.

10. Are you my future X?

TIE BREAKER: just be yourself not something your not if your something your not how can you not be yourself!!!