March 21, 2007

Bachelor #175 Let's Face It

"I love to see a smile on the person I am with a face."

What kind of wisecrack is that, buster?

I may be a half-faced woman but it's actually working pretty well for me. My cholesterol levels have been cut in half and I only need partial dental cleanings.
My temperature is always exactly 49.3 degrees and I save a lot of money on mascara and lipstick. No guy ever complains that my head is too heavy for his shoulder and I can use just one leg of my pantyhose if I ever need a stocking mask. I don't have to part my hair in the middle anymore because well....there's no point. I always have an extra earring since I don't need a pair. And I can use two contacts in one eye which has dramatically improved my vision. Airline fares are cheaper-by-the-half-seat and nobody questions me when some of my words fall out.
Nobody has ever called me two-faced. Sybil, maybe, but never two-faced.

Gotta split.
See ya.


Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

But doesn't it make you half a pencil skirt? I'd say not.

Mimi Lenox said...

Silly Bud.

Spinner said...

I have half a mind to tell your father

Mimi Lenox said...

Spinners - If ya halfta tell him then ya halfta tell him.

FoxxFyrre said...

I think you are on to something Mimi. If I had half a face 30 years ago when I joined the Canadian Armed Forces, I would have only had to follow 1/3 of the drill orders: Left, Right, and About Face. Nah, they still would have told me "Sirianni, Shudduppa you face"
Yeah, my mouth was always getting me in trouble, even back then.